Ways the Bible Speaks to us

Below are two stories that may or may not be well known, and which can be encountered in different versions. They are not intended as a recommendation on how to read the Bible – just for amusement purposes only.

A man has been in business for many, many years and the business is going
down the drain. He is seriously contemplating suicide and he doesn’t know what
to do.

He goes to the Rabbi to seek his advice. He tells the Rabbi about all
of his problems in the business and asks the Rabbi what he should

The Rabbi says, “Take a beach chair and a Bible and put them in your
car and drive down to the edge of the ocean. Go to the water’s edge. Take the
beach chair out of the car, sit on it and take the book out and open it up. The
wind will riffle the pages for a while and eventually the Bible will stay open
at a particular page. Read the first words your eyes fall on and they will tell
you what to do.”

The man does as he is told. He places a beach chair and a Bible in his
car and drives down to the beach. He sits on the chair at the water’s edge and
opens the Bible. The wind riffles the pages of the Bible and then stops at a
particular page. He looks down at the Bible and his eyes fall on words, which
tell him what he has to do.

Three months later the man and his family come back to see the Rabbi.
The man is wearing a $1,000 Italian suit, The wife is all decked out with a
full-length mink coat and the child is dressed in beautiful silk.

The man hands the Rabbi a thick envelope full of money and tells him
that he wants to donate this money to the Shul in order to thank the Rabbi for
his wonderful advice.

The Rabbi is delighted. He asks him what words in the Chumash
(Torah) brought this good fortune to him.The man replies, “Chapter


A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee
each morning.

The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we
don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”

The husband said, ” You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my

The wife replied, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the
Bible that the man should make the coffee.”

The husband replied, “I can’t believe that; show me!”

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the NewTestament and showed him at
the top of several pages,that it indeed says………. “HEBREWS”

What is great about both stories is that you don’t need to get beyond the big words in bold print at the top of the page in order to get guidance!

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