Look, Jim, it’s a metaphor. If you want it to be white as snow, you’ve got to use OxiClean.
Sorry, Jesus. We thought of having Pilate chop your head off cleanly, but then we decided that doing it this way would do wonders at the box office. Anyway, we are already working on the sequel “Jesus Resurrected!”, and we don’t want its plot to be too far-fetched.
“You’re a Jew, you’ve had a bad day. Go with it.”
Ok, Mel, I’ll listen to your direction this time.
I mean, the old lady was getting so boring and well, that other woman was so hot. Jesus! You understand don’t you?
Mel: Can’t you play it a little less Jewish?
Don’t sweat it Jesus — you’re also God. This means you can heal yourself and raise yourself from the dead too. Not sure what that does to the “sacrifice” part… Rodney! Is there a theologian on the set? Get me a &%!$# theologian NOW!
Mel: “You would NOT believe the day I’ve had!”
Mel: Look my son, I beat you up for your own good.