Poetry Monday – UPDATED

Hamburger Washer Sleep Blog, Or:

Will Okra Slime Hurt Me?

. . .

Mad Jesus
Laughing Jesus
people choking
Jew site
Snappy kid talk
What is spillcock
baby powder help with lice
I have sit
I must sit down
Ha ha suckers
toilets blog
Mark Shea butter football
baby shower old wise tales


How to wet sitting down
Sit down joke
I need sit down
frog brothers
pasty vampires
Hallie Lord the jerk
. . .
Dear everyone,
Well, I did it again.  I thought the joke was really obvious, but it turns out that it was just me being a big weirdo again.  I hope no one was offended, disgusted, or, you know, weirded out.  This poem was made up of search terms for my blog.  Each line was an exact quote of a phrase that someone entered into a search engine, and then ended up at my blog.
“Hallie Lord the jerk,” for instance, is not a statement of opinion — it’s just a sad statement that Hallie Lord is now inextricably linked (at least as far as Google is concerned) with people like me.

  • Martha

    You should change the blog title to “I need sit down.” Just makes more sense.

  • Sue

    Fantastic poem. I caught the “sleep deprivation” theme immediately.

  • Bob

    “Hamburger Washer Sleep Pome, Or:

    If Kerouac Had Been a Mother of Eight”

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  • http://mostgladly.net Jamie

    Perfectly clear and hilarious too. Especially loved the image.

  • laura

    I found the phrase “butter football” to be racially charged and this WILL be the last time I visit this horrid blog, you bigot, you!

    Furthermore, the picture that accompanied your piece of, cough, *art*, cough, brought back a memory of a very traumatic time in my life when I saw a REAL man ballet dancer wearing REAL tights and dancing and his gluteal muscles were so large and pronounced that I became frightened that they might hurt me.

    And I was sitting at least twelve rows back from the stage.

    I shan’t be right for the rest of the day.

  • laura

    Don’t worry folks, this is my last day of exposing my mental illness on the Interweb. School starts tomorrow.

  • http://thewinedarksea.com/weblog.php MelanieB

    I’m just sad that if I tried to do the same thing with my blog’s searches it wouldn’t be nearly as funny. I might do it anyway though. We could start a meme!

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/simchafisher Simcha Fisher

      Oh, good idea, Melanie! I had to cut out a lot of funny ones, for reasons of propriety or rhythm – such a shame.

  • http://www.the-mother-load.blogspot.com Aimee

    I figured it out, so I guess that makes me a weirdo too. Yippee!

  • Emily G

    How do you do that-figure out what searches bring up your blog? Searching doesn’t tell you how…

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/simchafisher Simcha Fisher

      WordPress gives you a stats page which tells you (among other things) what search terms prople used to arrive at your blog. So today, it says:

      simcha fisher 4

      simcha fisher i have to sit down 3

      i have to sit down 2

      i have to sit down blog simcha 2

      homer price face 2

      i have to sit down simcha 2

      please dont hurt my arse movies 1

      simcha fisher blog 1

      smart comebacks to stupid questions 1

      dont tell me you dont like my shoes 1

      There is usually at least one completely mystifying one.

      When I had a Google Blogger blog, I used Sitemeter, which gave me similar information.

  • Julie

    “please dont hurt my arse movies”


  • Another Julie

    I once had someone find mine by searching for “50 lbs of red grease.”

  • Colleen

    This makes me want to Google random things and click through to your site.

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  • http://itsonmyto-dolist.blogspot.com Delena

    Loved the ending photo–had me laughing.

    Love it.

    I used to read your blog a couple years ago–and somehow I lost track of it! Glad to find it again–keeps me laughing!

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