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Mene mene tekel parsin

Loosely translated:  “Sometimes,  / When I look deep in your pants, / I swear I can see your soul.”

Ha ha!  Just kidding.  But remember that terrible song “Sometimes” by that medium-terrible band, James?  James:  because what the world needs now is more Irishmen singing.  He didn’t actually say “pants,” but it would have been a better song if he had.  Hey, and look, it’s a bunch of guys wearing dresses!  I suppose this is all my fault, too.  Not the bananas, though.

In the past week, there has been a lot of soul-searching.  Unfortunately, it’s mostly been people searching each other’s souls and — you’ll never guess! — finding them wanting.

Yipes!

I, of course, am not guilty of this.  No, I certainly haven’t spent the last several days wrapped in a semi-hysterical nimbus of self-righteousness.  I haven’t been following my husband around and making him reassure me, over and over and over again, that I’m a perfectly good wife most of the time.  My prayer life hasn’t consisted mostly of, “Did you hear that guy?!?”

Well, just to show that I can be old-fashioned, too, let’s go back in time and revisit and old game — and do a little soul-searching of our own souls for a change.  Not such a scenic route, is it?  I think there’s a whole series of books out on it by now, and I remember that Ironic Catholic had a contest at one point.  It’s so much fun:  Six Word Autobiographies.

Here are the ones I came up with a few years ago:

Last I checked, I deserve less.

Still a bum, just much busier.

I’ve secretly always wanted a dog.

Seven unmedicated births, fine; telephones, terrifying.

Married to Bach, trysting with Brahms.

and my favorite:

Help! Help, help, help!  Oh, thanks.

Okay, so what are yours?  Your life in six words.  Go!

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  • http://moss-place.stblogs.org Pansy Moss

    To quote 101 Dalmations: “I’m hungry Mama, I really am” (that’s either me talking or my kids, but sums up about 85% of the thoughts in my life)

  • http://themoleshollow.blogspot.com/ Becca

    I meant to, but I forgot.

    And

    Filthy house, but lots of books.

    Yeah, those two pretty much so sum me up.

  • Karen LH

    I never got around to it.

  • http://breakingground.wordpress.com/ sara

    Not clever enough to do this.

  • Bob

    I doubt it’s the baby’s fault.

  • http://www.ashowerofroses.blogspot.com Sara

    So many blogs; so little time!

  • justine

    Managing crises of my own making.

  • gussie

    I have two:

    Why did I open my mouth.

    Where the hell are my keys.

  • sue

    Yes, I have counted every entry.

  • http://deirdremundy.blogspot.com Deirdre Mundy

    -My kids scream I need coffee

    (no punctuation b/c both interpretations are correct! ;) )

    -None of us can focus today

    -The best days include a playground

    - Brilliant light breaks through cloudy blankets

    -Sunshine Already? Please, God, hit snooze!

    -I started today completely behind schedule.

    Fun Game! It’s almost like a “Bumper Sticker” generator! :)

  • Abby

    Loneliness was my greatest fear. Ha!

    • Sheila

      That’s a good one, Abby.

  • Sheila

    Hmm: “I wish I had a blog.”

    Or, to tweak your blog’s title: “I have to sit down. Opps.”

    It may not be rule-compliant, but as “a bear with very little brain,” I’ll borrow a couple of lines that pretty much sum up my life:

    “Animal crackers and cocoa to drink”

    or, from the heart of Robert Louis Stevenson’s “The Swing”:

    “Til I can see so wide.” That one works for me, even if the whole poem always makes me feel a bit unsteady (as poems sometimes do).

  • http://www.thecottagechild.blogspot.com the cottage child

    It’s in one of these boxes.

    (Is that six, or technically seven?)

    After all, tomorrow is another day.

    Why are there no wine coupons?

  • http://www.thecottagechild.blogspot.com the cottage child

    oh, how could I forget:

    Your underwear is in the dryer

  • Martha

    Me?! Really?! What is God thinking???

    So many little souls. So stressed.

    So many little souls. So blessed.

    These are my life’s basic thoughts, on a rotating schedule.

  • Martha

    Don’t actually remember the song, which is shocking for me… maybe it’s clouded up in there with too much ‘She Talks to Angels,’ ‘I’m Too Sexy,’ and something depressing by Pearl Jam or weird by Nirvana, or whatever else I was listening to then.

    I enjoyed the skirts, though – especially the guy with the oh so prescient slanted cut black one that was shredded. Nice.

  • Tonia

    I’m not done growing up yet.

  • http://moss-place.stblogs.org Pansy Moss

    No playing football in the house

  • Larry

    I have to write six words?

  • ponypam

    Just another five minutes sleep, please.

    Why can’t someone else clean up?

    I should have skipped the soup.

    (says she having a gluten-induced cold-sore from one gluteny-soup infraction last weekend, and had more gluteny-soup this weekend.)

  • Kate

    Not ready to be the grownup!

    That works for most of my life, especially right now when I’m feeling ill and yet get to be the caregiver for the rest of the (ill) family. Gosh I’d love for someone to tuck me in with a good book and a cup of tea.

  • J Harvey

    Was I supposed to do that?

  • Kevin

    But…but I did everything right!

  • http://deirdremundy.blogspot.com Deirdre Mundy

    I can’t function without an answer.

  • Judgmental Onlooker

    My shortcomings far exceed wearing pants.
    If intentions are pavers, I’m screwed.
    I need to cheer up, already!

  • http://michaelgabrielraphael.blogspot.com/ Angela M.

    The Lord was merciful to me.

  • http://moss-place.stblogs.org Peony Moss

    So that’s what the problem was!

  • Sarah B

    i must replace remorse with action.

    • Judgmental Onlooker

      Ooh, that’s a good one, Sarah!

  • http://www.halfadozenproductions.blogspot.com Maurisa

    What the heck is that smell?

    You’re going where, for how long?

    We’re moving where, for how long?

    Get that out of here, now! (no kidding, I just now said that!)

  • SteveG

    I am broken, God Help me.

  • Bears2Cross

    I’m not stuck-up, just introverted. (I don’t know whether “I’m” and “stuck-up” count as one or two each. Surely it averages out.)

    Terra Sancta fills up my house. (No really, I live in the Holy Land. :) )

    You do what you have to. (That one comes from my great-grandmother, actually; single mother of eight.)

    Pick it up, put it away.

    Easy won’t really make me holy.

  • Renee

    Where on earth…? Oh, never mind.

    That’s Dr. Mama to you kid.

    • Sheila

      That’s good, Renee!

  • http://www.lovelettertomykids.blogspot.com Kim D.

    Taking it all way too seriously.

    (Love this idea!)

  • Kevin

    Next time it will be perfect.

  • Tonia

    I’m loved more than I deserve.

    (Bears2Cross, I’m counting contractions as one word. :) )

  • Alexis C.

    Hey, I loved James! (And “Sometimes” wasn’t their best effort, but I liked it pretty well.)

  • Mary

    Who’s going to clean this house?

    I wanted to be good. Once.

    Hope 8 kids is enough sanctity.

  • LAURA

    Home school is from the devil.

    Lady pants are from the devil.

    Of course that would start fights.

    • Tonia

      bwahahahaha!

  • http://deirdremundy.blogspot.com Deirdre Mundy

    I, not the pope, judge Orthodoxy. ;)

  • Sarah

    Like Jim, I’d jumped, it seemed. (all right, that doesn’t sum up my _whole_ life, but this does:) Why can’t I sing like Aretha?! (and so does this:) Lord, get me off my butt!

  • Rosemary A.

    Older; hope I’m much wiser now.

    I never said I ENJOYED cooking.

    Fat — it’s not a good look.

    Our grandchildren will love us regardless!

  • Karen

    You can’t chew gum while crying.

  • Maggie Dee

    No wet towels in the hamper!

    What? Morning already? What’s the rush?

    What? Bedtime already? What’s the rush?

    No more apologies for being introverted.

    So, so blessed. Thank you God.

  • Kate Gahan

    It is happy hour somewhere y’all.

    (the y’all is obviously filler)

    • Kelly

      Kate, I seriously JUST saw your post. Cheers!

  • Robin

    I never thought I’d be here.

    (Catholic, homeschooling, mom….not any of it. I really can’t believe I’m here.)

  • Colet

    Fiat. *fiat*. Fiat? fiiiaaatt. FIAT. whatever.

  • Kelly

    It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right? Cheers!

  • Denise

    These are great. So many bumper stickers for my life!

    It’s not all about you, dear.

    (Jesus tells me that more than I say it to my children; I suppose I should cut them more slack for not listening when I do such a sad job of it myself…)

  • http://www.homemaking101.com Rachel

    when did i get a minvan?

    • http://www.homemaking101.com Rachel

      just thought of another one i say almost daily…

      where did i leave my coffee?

  • Kevin

    Forty no longer seems that old.

    I must be doing it wrong.

    Age is supposed to mellow? Ha!

    • Tonia

      Well, that’s good. I’m in love with an almost-forty-year-old.

  • http://www.amyfortherest.blogspot.com Amy

    Not what I was – Thank God.

    Remember that this too shall pass.

  • Marie

    Always feel like I’m messing up.

  • http://deirdremundy.blogspot.com Deirdre Mundy

    We need to focus. Ooh! Shiny!!!

  • KyCat

    As I was reading this I said out loud for only the second time today, but really I say this daily –

    “Please don’t hit me with that.”

  • http://www.mylittlehouseinthecity.blogspot.com Jessica

    Need to get off my ass.

  • Tonia

    Southern Autumn is far too hot!

  • http://lydiapurpuraria.wordpress.com lydiacubbedge

    Honey, the laundry won’t do itself.

    We give thanks for sister tea.

    Thank God I got over it.

  • http://cjvdomesticengineer.blogspot.com Christina

    New reader here; I’m so glad that found your blog! Tho it’s a little late, I’d like to give this a try. Read? Here goes:

    OH NO!!!! Wait, nevermind. Short-lived crisis.

  • http://cjvdomesticengineer.blogspot.com Christina

    New reader here; I’m so glad that found your blog! Tho it’s a little late, I’d like to give this a try. Ready? Here goes:

    OH NO!!!! Wait, nevermind. Short-lived crisis.


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