Love in action

It’s not easy to tell the difference between a survey reporting a change in behavior patterns and a survey reflecting the same behavior, but a change in respondents’ willingness to be honest with pollsters.

The latter is my guess as to what’s really revealed in the studies cited in Tyler Charles’ Relevant magazine article “(Almost) Everyone’s Doing It” — subtitled “A surprising new study shows Christians are having premarital sex and abortions as much (or more) than non-Christians.”

“Surprising” to whom? Well, to CNN’s John Blake, for one, who says “one of the biggest surprises” in the article is that:

80 percent of unmarried evangelical young adults (18 to 29) said that they have had sex – slightly less than 88 percent of unmarried adults, according to the teen pregnancy prevention organization.

The article highlights what challenges abstinence movements face. Movements such as “True Love Waits,” encourage teens to wear purity rings, sign virginity pledges and pledge chastity during public ceremonies.

What Blake describes as a “challenge” for “abstinence movements” might rather be interpreted as a consequence of those abstinence movements. It may be that “Don’t — and that’s all you need to know” doesn’t work as a substitute for actual sexual ethics.

“Love is the fulfillment of the law” may need a bit more fleshing out, as it were, to provide what we need from a sexual ethic. But it’s a much better starting point for that effort than is “Sex is a dirty, dirty sin that you should save for the one special person you marry.”

  • Caravelle

    To be fair, I went back to look for the tract I was vaguely remembering and I couldn’t find an exact match; the one I found which was closest still included the “condoms aren’t really effective” thing, if only by implication (the girl used a condom and caught AIDS). When you add that premise and neglect that it’s false it makes the circularity a bit less transparent. 

  • Caravelle

    To be fair, I went back to look for the tract I was vaguely remembering and I couldn’t find an exact match; the one I found which was closest still included the “condoms aren’t really effective” thing, if only by implication (the girl used a condom and caught AIDS). When you add that premise and neglect that it’s false it makes the circularity a bit less transparent. 

  • http://willbikeforchange.wordpress.com/ storiteller

    But the problem is that somehow even the adults believe in the slippery slope argument.  Hell, they think just being in the same place as someone of the opposite sex will lead to dirty fornication.  Seriously.  I was visiting my grandmother and went to church to her despite my misgivings about it and the pastor said, “Just like of course, a man and woman should not be in a car alone.” I was so astounded and nearly offended that I said quietly, but definitely out loud, “Well, that’s stupid.” Both my husband and grandmother shot me a nasty look.  My husband agreed with me, he just thought I was being rude.  But I just thought a comment like that was wrong and damaging.  And there was no question he was addressing that to adults – most of the audience was senior citizens.

  • http://willbikeforchange.wordpress.com/ storiteller

    But the problem is that somehow even the adults believe in the slippery slope argument.  Hell, they think just being in the same place as someone of the opposite sex will lead to dirty fornication.  Seriously.  I was visiting my grandmother and went to church to her despite my misgivings about it and the pastor said, “Just like of course, a man and woman should not be in a car alone.” I was so astounded and nearly offended that I said quietly, but definitely out loud, “Well, that’s stupid.” Both my husband and grandmother shot me a nasty look.  My husband agreed with me, he just thought I was being rude.  But I just thought a comment like that was wrong and damaging.  And there was no question he was addressing that to adults – most of the audience was senior citizens.

  • http://willbikeforchange.wordpress.com/ storiteller

    The Dr. Pepper thing sounds like the Yorkie candy bar in Britain.  It says right on the packaging, “It’s not for girls!”  Very oddly, purposely offensive.

  • http://willbikeforchange.wordpress.com/ storiteller

    The Dr. Pepper thing sounds like the Yorkie candy bar in Britain.  It says right on the packaging, “It’s not for girls!”  Very oddly, purposely offensive.

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    But the problem is that somehow even the adults believe in the slippery slope argument.  Hell, they think just being in the same place as someone of the opposite sex will lead to dirty fornication.

    And in doing so, they just keep further eroticising everything.  In the example you gave, how could I be assured that all those senior citizens in the congregation were not having huge debaucherous senior citizen Christian-themed sexual orgies behind those church doors?  After all, that is what men and women do when they are together, so that is what must be happening!

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    But the problem is that somehow even the adults believe in the slippery slope argument.  Hell, they think just being in the same place as someone of the opposite sex will lead to dirty fornication.

    And in doing so, they just keep further eroticising everything.  In the example you gave, how could I be assured that all those senior citizens in the congregation were not having huge debaucherous senior citizen Christian-themed sexual orgies behind those church doors?  After all, that is what men and women do when they are together, so that is what must be happening!

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    I was ambivalent to Dr. Pepper before.  This most recent advertising campaign has turned me off to it entirely.  

    Give me a good Hansen’s any day.  

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    I was ambivalent to Dr. Pepper before.  This most recent advertising campaign has turned me off to it entirely.  

    Give me a good Hansen’s any day.  

  • http://twitter.com/Jenk3 Jen K

    Back in the 80s when I was in high school / college, I did not have sex.  I also did not KNOW anyone my age who was a Christian who admitted to having had sex.  

    Now, it’s possible some were lying by omission.  But the lies make it so that, if you *DO* start to think about ethics vs rules, you still think you’re the only one.  

  • http://twitter.com/Jenk3 Jen K

    Back in the 80s when I was in high school / college, I did not have sex.  I also did not KNOW anyone my age who was a Christian who admitted to having had sex.  

    Now, it’s possible some were lying by omission.  But the lies make it so that, if you *DO* start to think about ethics vs rules, you still think you’re the only one.  

  • Headless Unicorn Guy

    But, holding hands with friends suddenly becomes the first step down the slippery slide of sex, and oh my god, there’s that EVIL! And it isn’t just holding hands, may I introduce to you, the “christian side hug”:

    I remember that one from when it appeared on one of Scotteriology’s “Worst Christian Video” eliminations.

    And according to this online dictionary of slang that came up when I googled the phrase, apparently “Christian Side Hug” has another meaning on the street:  Sexual acts other than genital-to-genital, entered into to preserve Technical Virginity (i.e. unpopped cherry).

  • Headless Unicorn Guy

    But, holding hands with friends suddenly becomes the first step down the slippery slide of sex, and oh my god, there’s that EVIL! And it isn’t just holding hands, may I introduce to you, the “christian side hug”:

    I remember that one from when it appeared on one of Scotteriology’s “Worst Christian Video” eliminations.

    And according to this online dictionary of slang that came up when I googled the phrase, apparently “Christian Side Hug” has another meaning on the street:  Sexual acts other than genital-to-genital, entered into to preserve Technical Virginity (i.e. unpopped cherry).