We have our Chloe: Ashley Tisdale joins Left Behind reboot

Deadline tells us that Ashley Tisdale of High School Musical fame (well, “fame” if your kids were the age of my kids in 2006) is joining the cast of the new Left Behind movie. She’ll be playing Chloe Steele.

Meet the next Chloe Steele.

Sadly, Deadline also confirms that she will thus be playing the daughter of Nicholas Cage’s character, Rayford Steele — so my dream of Nic as Nicolae is not to be.

Kristy Puchko of Cinemablend has a “what is she thinking” item about Tisdale taking the part. We didn’t see a lot of people asking that question when Nic Cage signed on — not because it made sense for Cage as a career move, but because most people have long ago stopped expecting Nic Cage’s career moves to make sense.

So the new Left Behind movie still needs a Bruce Barnes, and a Dirk Burton. Plus an Irene Steele for the pre-Rapture flashback sequences. And, of course, an Antichrist.

If I can’t have Nic Cage, my next pick would be Christopher Walken. Yes, I know he’s too old, but nobody else seems quite Walken enough for the part. Even though he doesn’t look anything like “a young Robert Redford,” if Christopher Walken were playing the Antichrist, I’d gladly plunk down the cost of a theater ticket even if the entire movie consisted of nothing but Nicolae’s nine-language speech at the United Nations with him reciting the names of all the countries of the world alphabetically.

Christopher Walken reciting the names of 196 countries while a room filled with stereotypically clad extras stands and cheers. I would pay to watch that in 48 FPS 3-D.

Alas, it won’t be Walken either. Or Crispin Glover.

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  • Lori

    There’s a great deal of truth to this. 

  • ScorpioUndone

    Oh, Walken as the anti-christ would be awesome. Imagine the scenery chewing!

  • Monie40869

    Nicolae is supposed to be stunningly handsome with an heir of sincerity and innocence.  Walken?  Nah.  I’m thinking Paul Walker.