‘Scamsters in religious garb quoting the Bible’

If you can’t watch that video, that’s Pat Robertson, saying this:

Ladies and gentlemen, beware of these scamsters. Especially scamsters in religious garb, quoting the Bible. I mean, run from them. They’re all over the place.

And yes, that’s the same Pat Robertson.

The Rev. Marian Gordon “Pat” Robertson, CEO of the Christian Broadcasting Network, host of The 700 Club, peddler of dubious “sentergistic” health shakes, second-place finisher in the 1988 Republican caucuses in Iowa, deflector of hurricanes and thrift-store exorcist.

That Pat Robertson.

But the man can leg-press 2,000 pounds!

* * * * * * * * *

Speaking of Bible-quoting scamsters in religious garb …

Liberty Counsel — the right-wing, anti-gay lobby associated with Jerry Falwell’s law school — is planning a feature film.

It’s a musical.

It’s a musical starring Erik Estrada.

Feel free to provide your own CHiPs jokes in comments. Tribal bonus points for Cross-and-the-Switchblade jokes.

* * * * * * * * *

Florida Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll spoke at a Faith and Freedom Coalition rally in 2011, firing up the crowd with the kind of talk Ralph Reed’s latest religious-right group loves to hear:

Ladies and gentlemen, Christianity is in a fight and it is one of the greatest trials we have seen in modern times. Without a doubt, America and her people are in grave need of prayer, divine guidance, protection, to have good, solid Christians to step up and lead this country on a proper moral path. I firmly believe that if we magnify God, our problems will be minimized.

Unfortunately, one problem that hasn’t been minimized is that of a lieutenant governor “abruptly resign[ing] amid law enforcement questions about a Florida Internet sweepstakes company at the center of a nationwide criminal investigation.”

* * * * * * * * *

Regarding folks like Pat Robertson or Liberty Counsel or Ralph Reed, I think evangelicals need to listen to what Conor Friedersdorf is saying to his Republican Party and apply the lessons to evangelicalism. Friedersdorf’s Atlantic column earlier this week was titled, “The GOP Can’t Reach Beyond Its Base Without Confronting Its Hucksters.” It’s long, but it builds up to this:

Some conservatives who share my critiques are rationally afraid to speak up. Others have long thought that I overemphasize how much the unethical behavior of guys like Rush Limbaugh, Roger Ailes, who broadcast months of Glenn Beck chalkboard rants, and all the other hucksters matter — that they’re best ignored as fights not worth picking. The latter position, while honestly held, grows less plausible with every political battle characterized by a conservative information disadvantage, an inability to reach independents, the rise of huckster politicians like Herman Cain and Donald Trump, and a focus ontotally fake controversies. An all-out attack on the hucksters is as necessary now as it was at the end of the Bush Administration, the failures of which were partly explained by a conservative echo chamber. But most conservatives who’d never dream of conducting themselves as dishonorably as the worst pundits and entertainers still dread picking that necessary fight. How do they explain the RNC’s observation that “we have lost the ability to be persuasive with, or welcoming to, those who do not agree with us on every issue”?



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  • reynard61

    “Ladies and gentlemen, beware of these scamsters. Especially scamsters in religious garb, quoting the Bible. I mean, run from them. They’re all over the place.”

    That’s right, Pat! And the *first* $¢am$t€r I’m gonna run away from is *YOU!*

  • Ladies and gentlemen, beware of these scamsters. Especially scamsters in
    religious garb, quoting the Bible. I mean, run from them. They’re all
    over the place.

    Oh, look who’s fucking talking.

  • The man who falsely predicted the end of the world in 1982 wants to be wary of religious hucksters?

  • Also?

    But the man can leg-press 2,000 pounds!

    If he legit did that I’m totally a duck going “quack, quack”. You can’t see the weights, for one thing, and for another thing, in general, an average leg press weight is more like 300 or 400 pounds when you start out. Going to 2000 at his age… mmm IDK.

    Granted 2,000 pounds may be doable under exceptional circumstances but I reaaaallly doubt this one. Seems like I’m not the only one wondering if it’s a load of crap.

  • Ooh, ooh! Can we make “Sealab 2021” jokes?!

  • Makabit

    Maybe this is the meta-Pat speaking.

  • “Beware these hucksters! They’re my competition!”

  • The man’s expertise on this subject is unquestioned.

  • flat

    right wing: the musical,
    How can we lose your respect even more.

  • Well, as Pat Robertson has proven, it takes one to know one…

  • “I beg your monsieur, watch yourself! Be on your guard! This place is full of vultures, vultures everywhere!”


  • SergeantHeretic

    “Beware of scamsters quoting the bible, especially scamsters in religious garm, run fro mthem”- Pat Robertson.
    (….) I, I There are no words, I am stunned to dumbfounded silence by this massive display of rank chutzpah and total unself awareness.

  • Fusina

    I’m thinking there needs to be an “It takes one to know one” column.

  • Those are always appropriate. Especially if we’re put under Martian Law.

  • After all – the Corleones don’t want people to be paying protection to the Barzinis.

  • I first read “Faith and Freedom Coalition” as “Fifth Freedom Coalition”, which in Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell (by Tom Clancy) is a euphemism for a James Bond-style “license to kill” employed by agents in service to the NSA in discharging their duties.

    Somehow, it still seemed to fit.

  • aunursa

    second-place finisher in the 1988 Republican caucuses in Iowa

    Plus, he stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

  • By which I understand you to mean that Pat Robertson’s second-place finish in the 1988 Republican Iowa caucuses is irrelevant to Fred’s point, unlike the various other properties listed… confirm?

  • I assumed Fred meant that it was more that he was trying to leverage his spiritual following into a political career. It has less to do with his political affiliation and more to do with being a huckster, trading on people’s sincere religious beliefs for his own temporal benefit.

  • What about BIZZARRO Martian Law?

    Personally, I’m hoping that they hired Estrada’s doppelgänger. Then the real Estrada and Captain Murphy can send him back to Queen Dopplepoppulus.

  • ReverendRef

    Ladies and gentlemen, beware of these scamsters. Especially scamsters in
    religious garb, quoting the Bible. I mean, run from them. They’re all
    over the place.

    An elderly parishioner of mine has been watching Pat Robertson, TBN, CBN and Fox News for way too long. However, this particular message of Pat’s must have gotten through because he cancelled his TBN subscription and is rerouting that money to the parish.

  • Standard huckster trick, encourage trust by warning of danger of hucksters.
    Note: Standard huckster problem, believing their own hype.

  • Ben English

    I think there may be a meta-Pat buried somewhere in there. Sure, he has proclaimed publicly that God has personally told him the winners of presidential elections beforehand, but he doesn’t believe in Young Earth Creationism and flatly dismissed the idea that the Earth is only a few thousand years old when one of his flock wrote to him about it. I’m starting to think that his advanced age has brought with it a sort of senility and isolation so that that as long as he’s got a soapbox and millions of dollars, he doesn’t give a shit what the rest of the Evangelical community thinks.

  • Keulan

    Wow. Clearly Pat Robertson is not aware of the irony of what he said there.

  • PatBannon

    I assume this comment is meant to indicate that being a second-place finisher in the 1988 Republican caucuses in Iowa is not a significant achievement.

  • KevinC

    Oh, but our boy Pat doesn’t wear “religious garb.” He dresses in a suit. It’s only those other religious people, the ones that dress exotic–and maybe kinda foreign?–that you gotta be worried about.

  • ReverendRef

    Oh . . . so you mean people like the Pope, the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Metropolitan of Antioch and other people who wear such religious-type garb. Like me.

    Got it.

  • Consumer Unit 5012

    The folks over at “Sadly, No!” have a simple phrase that explains about 75% of all the insane things Conservatives say about Liberals: “It’s ALWAYS projection”. (Or, to quote… Karl Rove, I think? Always accuse the other guy of doing what you’re already doing.)

    I think that applies here, too.

  • AnonCollie

    Sir Phobos, Sir Demos?