Friday salmagundi

• It’s not a good sign if your church has a high-priced corporate fixer PR guy on staff. It’s also not a good sign if that high-priced corporate fixer PR guy is pretentious enough to quote Shakespeare without understanding that maybe Polonius isn’t meant to be a trustworthy source of wisdom.

• Speaking of over-rated PR spinmeisters, I’m sure that former Bush White House spokesman Ari Fleischer doesn’t really believe that Nazi Germany “followed the law of war.” I’m sure that if you were talking to him in some abstract, contextless setting far-removed from the partisan spin that has been his career, he would likely agree that the Nazis were war criminals and that Nuremberg wasn’t wrong to find them guilty of war crimes.

It’s just that once you have — like Fleischer — committed yourself to contradicting President Obama about absolutely everything, then you’re bound to wind up uttering some wildly monstrous, foolish lies, like saying that Nazi Germany “followed the law of war.”

Let’s put a better, more deserving war hero on the $20.

• The first Roger Ebert Film Festival since the beloved critic’s passing was a solemn, somber affair — with Ebert’s wife, Chaz, joined by Academy-Award winner Tilda Swinton for a moving musical tribute. I would like for this to happen at my funeral too. (via)

• Televangelist Matthew Hagee finally comes out publicly … against gay people coming out publicly. I’d always suspected that the younger Hagee was secretly pro-closet. It was brave of him to say so on television.

• I think Stephen Fry would be very pleased with this comparison. And now I’d kind of like to see him cast in a revival of 1776.

• And while we’re at John Fea’s blog … he asks, “Should the Democratic Party Dump Andrew Jackson?

Yes. Yes they should. They should have a long time ago. Let the Republicans have him — make him the player to be named later in the same deal in which they claimed Andrew Johnson off of waivers.

And while we’re at it, let’s get him off the $20 bill, too. Replace him with Harriet Tubman. (Because can you come up with someone more deserving or more all-around awesome than Harriet Tubman? No. No you cannot.)

• The government is over-paying its government football coaches. After all, more than half the football coaches on the government payroll are losing more than half of their games. And half of all coaches are below average.

• Lying to school administrators about illegally bringing guns to school property? This kid sounds like Liberty University material! Give him a scholarship!

• Republicans are hoping that lying about Planned Parenthood won’t backfire disastrously like it did in the last election cycle.

• White evangelicals are hoping that lying about Planned Parenthood won’t continue to erode their souls and shrivel their hearts the way this habitual bearing of false witness has for the past three decades. (I’m very serious about the soul-eroding, heart-shriveling effect of this. Lying about “bad people” is really, really dangerous for one’s spiritual health.)

• If you don’t believe in democracy and voting, then the Benton County, Arkansas, Republican Party may be for you: “The 2nd amendment means nothing unless those in power believe you would have no problem simply walking up and shooting them if they got too far out of line and stopped responding as representatives.”

Don’t vote, shoot. Bullets, not ballots. You’ve gotta love it when the GOP and the NRA are quoting Chairman Mao.

• Arizona AG Tom Horne should resign, then run for mayor of Toronto.

Why is a minor traffic accident interesting? As it turns out, when Arizona’s attorney general hit another car and drove away without leaving a note, he very likely would have gotten away with it, except, unbeknownst to him, Horne was being followed by FBI agents who saw the incident and reported what happened.

And why were FBI agents following the state attorney general? Because federal law enforcement suspects [Tom] Horne may be guilty of breaking federal campaign finance laws, illegally coordinating with an outside political group.

What’s more, making this just a little more entertaining, the Arizona Republican drove away after hitting that other car in part because his passenger is one of his subordinates, with whom Horne has had an extra-marital affair.

Incidentally, Horne, ostensibly Arizona’s top law-enforcement official, initially lied about hitting the other car and declined to cooperate in the police investigation.

On the bright side for Horne: It seems he was sober at the time of the accident.


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  • reynard61

    No, he sucks at *commenting*. To me he comes off as an über-Mr. Spock-wannabe/know-it-all who’s trying to impress everyone with his Vast Knowledge of Everything, Ever; but ends up alienating everyone with his overweening egotism. Hell; in my younger days, *I* was exactly the same way. (I’d like to think that I might have mellowed a bit — though I’m pretty sure that my own desire to show off sometimes gets the better of me. Just gotta keep reminding myself: “You are *NOT* omnescient! There’s *ALWAYS* someone out there smarter than you on certain subjects…”)

  • reynard61

    “You know, when Wayne LaPierre says that ‘The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun’, it sounds like he is advocating his own assassination. I mean, he is in favor of putting more guns in circulation while he profits from fearmongering, that makes him a bad guy, right?”

    Yes. Yes it does.

  • BaseDeltaZero

    It is a really bad sign when your high-priced corporate PR fixer thinks it’s a brilliant idea for his profile picture to be of him pointing a gun at the viewer.

  • histrogeek

    The Nazis followed the POW conventions with regard to Western prisoners. Eastern European allies were rarely treated well. Soviet POWs were the third-largest victim group for the Nazis (after Jews and Gypsies). The so-commissars order ( specifically denied POW status to virtually all Communist Party members, particularly the political officers who were part of nearly all Red Army units. To say nothing of Polish and Czech Army officers who rotted in labor camps unless they agreed to help purge Jews.

  • Also, as I am strongly doubtful of your claim, can you reference a source backing it?

  • To me he comes off as an über-Mr. Spock-wannabe/know-it-all who’s trying to impress everyone with his Vast Knowledge of Everything, Ever; but ends up alienating everyone with his overweening egotism.

    I don’t know Everything, Ever. I might not be omniscient, but I view myself as correct unless shown otherwise.

  • Foelhe

    I don’t think you can distill it down to one thing, honestly. There are so many reasons to knock on EH’s posts you could probably write a thesis on it.

  • AnonaMiss

    What? Of course not. Can you reference a source backing the political views of the girl who sat next to you in your 10th grade English class? Without breaching your anonymity?

    Why would I even make him up? I’m not trying to support a point. I took the opportunity to get in some zingers I guess, but I wouldn’t have to make up a fictional Steve to say all that.

  • No, not about Steve- I believe your claims about him. About the beginning of the word pronounced in Russian as “Ookrayeena”.

  • Consumer Unit 5012

    The Lion King also wasn’t directly based on anything

    There’s a fair bit of evidence that it was at the very least ‘inspired’ by an anime called Jungle Emperor Taitei. i

  • reynard61

    “I might not be omniscient, but I view myself as correct unless shown otherwise.”

    Why am I not surprised? You must have been either very entertaining or very frustrating to your teachers.

  • AnonaMiss

    Oh! Sorry.

    …Hm. Sources I’m finding online are using y, but my Ukrainian coworkers I was pretty damn sure were saying ю. Could be a case of language mixing, or me mishearing. I’ll see if I can get up the courage to ask at work tomorrow.