7 things @ 9 o’clock (9.4)

1. “The International House of Prayer (IHOP), a New Apostolic Reformation ministry in Kansas City, Missouri, now has a ministry devoted to the workplace,” the Republic of Gilead reports. “The Joseph Company encourages believers to ‘make an impact for Jesus’ in the sphere of society in which they work.”

When these folks talk about making “an impact for Jesus,” they tend to mean it the way Constantine did. That name — “Joseph Company” — tells you all you need to know about IHOP. They’re faithful servants of Pharaoh, his loyal right-hand man, working hard to consolidate all power under his imperial throne to fulfill their ideal of “dominion” over all the seven pyramids. (Haven’t these people ever read the story of Joseph? It’s not a how-to manual, it’s the set-up for Exodus.)

2. It’s hard to believe that it’s been 20 years since Al Mohler set back Southern Baptist theological education by 60 years in the Great Purge when he took over as Southern’s seminary president. It was the academic equivalent of one of those Florida Marlins fire sales, except instead of unloading salary, Mohler was unloading credibility. Still, what remains a shameful debacle for Southern Baptists turned out to be a blessing for theology students all over the country, as nearly all of the supposedly apostate professors Mohler purged at Southern have gone on to great success, making impressive contributions elsewhere by doing the sort of work that Mohler would not allow and that he has worked hard to ensure no Southern Baptist is capable of.

3. Art Pope is a jerk. Art Pope is a jackwagon.

Yes, it’s sad to be reduced to name-calling. But, alas, Pope’s money insulates him from all other forms of accountability — political, legal, civil, moral, religious, cultural. And thus the only remaining check against the unchecked power of someone like Art Pope is ridicule and name-calling. There’s no way for the people of North Carolina to stop him from ruling their state like a monarch and from turning their democracy into a Pope-ocracy. All that is left is to try to make him a punchline and an object of universal scorn.

So, then. Ahem. Art Pope is a jerk, a complete kneebiter.

4. Our friend Mark Kessler, the “chief” of the one-man police force of Gilberton, Pa., has now been suspended indefinitely due to those violent, profane, racist YouTube videos he keeps posting in which he threatens to kill “libtards” and overthrow the government. Kessler remains a member of the local school board, however, still helping to shape the education of Gilberton’s children.

5. Here’s a depressing follow-up on an earlier piece of Good News. Remember “Operation Cross Country” — the massive FBI sting that “rescued 105 youth and arrested 150 pimps for prostitution in 76 cities”? Turns out that in many of those cases, being “rescued” involved getting handcuffed and arrested. Liberation: UR doing it wrong.

6. People laughed, assuming it was just a prank, when a monument to one of H.P. Lovecraft’s Old Ones appeared outside of an Oklahoma City restaurant. “In the Year of Our Lord 2012 Creer Pipi claimed this land for Azathoth,” the monument reads. I laughed too — until I learned that unkillable blood worms were infecting Oklahoma’s water supply. “You can take the worms out of the filter system and put them in a straight cup of bleach and leave them in there for about four hours, and they still won’t die.” Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn ...

7. Here’s an update on those blog-list tabs above: The Christian QUILTBlogs list includes 114 blogs. The Mosaic lists 242 blogs by Christians of color. And the Bonfire is spreading out of control. It now lists 2,031 blogs written by Christian women.



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