And all his works and pomps

According to the National Center for Reason and Justice, Francis Keller has been released from a Texas prison.

Since 1993, Keller has been serving a 48-year sentence for a crime that she did not commit. Worse than that, she has spent the past 20 years in prison for a crime that never happened.

Fran Keller

Fran and Dan Keller ran a child-care center in Oak Hill, Texas. They were accused, and convicted, of Satanic ritual abuse. We know they were innocent of this charge because:

1. The child they were convicting of abusing, who was then 3 years old, has since said that no abuse occurred and that she was repeating the accusations she’d been coached and instructed to deliver.

2. No physical or medical evidence suggests any abuse ever took place and no physical evidence was ever found of the graves in which the Kellers allegedly buried young children alive after baptizing them in blood.

3. Satanic ritual abuse does not exist.

Yet Fran Keller was sent to prison for 20 years because of an imaginary crime committed against non-existent victims.


I can’t believe this was the result of well-meaning people who were just trying to protect children from people they sincerely believed were a threat.

“All I care about, my passion, is helping survivors of child abuse,” says Australian “advocate” Liz Mullinar. But Mullinar also claims to have helped more than 500 people who were victims of Satanic ritual abuse. That story isn’t from 1983 or from 1993. That story is from today, in 2013. And it’s all terribly familiar — the spectral evidence of “recovered memories,” the implication that the lack of evidence of the alleged massive conspiracy of Satanists is somehow proof of their power, etc.

But a “passion” for helping survivors or for protecting children won’t produce the lurid fantasies of grisly, bizarre rituals that we’ve been hearing ever since this moral panic began in the 1980s. Those fantasies in all their horrid detail had to be imagined, invented, disseminated and embellished — and that process doesn’t seem like anything that would arise from a motive of helping survivors or of protecting real children from real dangers.

This isn’t about protecting children or saving babies. It’s just fantasy role-playing — the sensation of imaginary heroism that comes from battling imaginary monsters.

Do you renounce the Satanic baby-killers and all their works and pomps?

No. Nothing good can come from renouncing that which does not exist. Defining oneself in opposition to imaginary evils only leads to real evils and real injustices.


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  • Headless Unicorn Guy

    Because a Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory cannot be disproven. Any evidence against The Conspiracy is Disinformation planted by The Conspiracy. Lack of evidence for The Conspiracy is PROOF The Conspiracy is so Vast THEY Can Silence Anything. Anyone who doubts The Conspiracy has revealed themselves as part of The Conspiracy.

    The Dwarfs are for The Dwarfs, and Won’t Be Taken In.

  • Headless Unicorn Guy

    Janet Reno started her career climb to AG with prosecutions of Satanic Ritual Abuse, Recovered Memory Evidence and all. I think some of them are still in prison in Florida.

  • G.G.

    I’ve seen the Cat Juggling film, is that close enough?

  • Headless Unicorn Guy

    Cognitive Dissonance with Long-Term Emotional Involvement.

    Exactly what every con man tries to instill in his marks. Get the mugu so emotionally involved in the scam that even when he finds out he’s being scammed, he’ll stay in the scam rather than have to admit he was wrong.

  • Headless Unicorn Guy

    “If your Conspiracy Theory doesn’t fit the facts,
    Kooks Magazine

  • P J Evans

    Given that the Founding fathers have been dead for a couple of centuries, a network connection to their brains sounds about right for the results it gives.

    Zombie justice.

  • Daniel

    Green Angels, no less, my favorite Christian rock band who play regular Friday night sets in a church, are friends with the vicar, and yet have no idea who or what Satan is. I luv ’em!

  • everstar

    But that’s what I was wondering about. How much money do you have available to you after you’ve been in prison for twenty years? What resources? I mean, I totally agree that I’d want to get the hell out of Texas, but moving is expensive even when you haven’t been incarcerated since the Clinton administration.

  • Lori

    I hope they have someone helping them and that they’ve already got a decent lawyer lined up who will file the notice of the lawsuit about a minute and a half after the husband clears the prison gates.

  • AnonymousSam

    *Snirk* I probably shouldn’t reveal that I have a small time career in the smut industry as an amateur self-photographer. :p

    (Seriously, with how strapped for cash I’ve been for the last several years, I’ve looked into everything as a money making option.)

  • Daniel

    This is not helping.
    I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating:

    *(and warn me if you’re planning on doing anything while you’re there.)

  • AnonymousSam

    I’ve heard it said that you have nothing to worry about in a prostate exam so long as you only feel one of the doctor’s hands on your shoulder.

  • Daniel

    Seriously, foul temptress, I’m trying not to lower the tone but…there’s too many jokes…too many filthy, filthy jokes…Must resist…
    A thing they never tell you as a kid- one day your prostate will become a total pain in the arse.
    That’s the weakest one I’ve got. It’s like my morphine.

  • Victor

    Daniel, I was just wondering if this picture that you put up has anything to do with todays Gospel or is “IT” just your way of saying that Satanist practices do really exist in this twenty first century? :)
    Gee Victor! Lighten UP! Can’t we gods have any fun without your imaginary four per sent age retardo cells of that father, mother, son and holi spirit going ape on us all the time and…..
    END YA SAY maggot and parasite gods? DON’T BE LIKE THAT! BE NICE NOW!
    Go figure folks! :)
    God Bless Peace

  • Daniel

    Neither actually Victor. It’s The Temptation of St Anthony by Felicien Rops- I just happen to like it and use it whenever Anonymoussam threatens to lead me astray with lewd, indecent, utterly welcome and often hilarious comments.

  • AnonymousSam

    The only way to get rid of temptation is to give in to it. :p

    (Just fulfilling my apparently ordained role as Satan.)

  • Baby_Raptor

    And maybe it’s just girlfriend bias, but I think he’s pretty damn good at it.

  • Lliira

    Uh, yeah, people actually burn kittens. I seriously and severely hate the “anti-kitten burning coalition” meme because it invariably reminds me that yes, people do burn kittens, and also abuse animals heinously in so many other ways. It does not work.

    Rebels against our lizardy overlords would work.

  • AnonymousSam

    I’m not 100% convinced that there’s no such thing as Satanists who’ve committed atrocities either. In fact, I’m closer to being 100% sure that there are people who’ve done horrible things expressly in the name of Satan. That there are real examples of horrible things having been done doesn’t mean that the tribalistic movements to expose and reject them have any legitimacy, though…

  • Veleda_k

    From what I understand, the point of the anti-kitten burning coalition isn’t so much “here’s people getting upset about something that doesn’t happen.” It’s “here’s people taking a thoroughly noncontroversial stance, and acting as if it’s brave and dangerous for them to do so,” the original post talked about people’s responding to incidents of actual kitten burning with “I’m against kitten burning!” as if everyone else was for it.

  • Lliira

    I have yet to meet any Internet Atheist Assholes who were not also Internet Misogynists and Internet Rape Cheerleaders. Most of them also seem to be Internet Libertarian Assholes. That’s not rational, that’s just being an asshole on the internet. I do not think they have any excuse.

  • Lliira

    People in power who are not accountable to anyone invariably abuse their power. Always. Every time. No amount of “what if” changes that basic fact of human nature.

  • Lliira

    And the panic about pedophiles somehow never focuses on the serious problems of actual pedophilia and how it truly occurs. And the people fanning the flames are almost always on the side that tries to stop people from doing things that might actually decrease real pedophilia and other sexual abuse. Funny, that.

  • Lliira

    as well as for women who have given up on trying to change men

    Well, that’s an unpleasant dose of victim-blaming. Tell me, what am I supposed to do to change rapists, again? And how precisely is it my fault that I’ve been consistently sexually objectified my whole life? I’m SUPPOSED to try to change abusers? It’s my fault that they commit sexual abuse because I haven’t tried to change them?

  • Lliira

    It’s a wonderful way for them to distract people from that problem, isn’t it?

  • Ross

    And like 70% of white, straight, christian men as well.

  • Ross

    Ah, but if we consistently execute innocent people for procedural reasons, then it might be cruel, but it’s not unusual. It has to be both to be forbidden. That’s what the “and” means.

    (Actual argument used by torture apologists during the Bush years)

  • Veleda_k

    …Jesus take the wheel.

  • Ross

    Every time I see the word “pogrom”, I wish it meant something less terrible, since it sounds like it should be some kind of children’s game.

  • tricksterson

    I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if, at some point in time, some deranged person who consider themselves a Satan worshiper did engage in this. But, and you knew there was a but coming, didn’t you? AFAIK there’s never been any proven instance of it and all the organized groups of what might be considered Satanists, whether Luciferians, Setites (neither of whom consider themselves Satanist. it’s complicated, look them up) or the Church of Satan disavow and condemn the sexual and physical abuse of children and do not practice it in their rituals.

    In fact more common and with more evidence are cases of physical child abuse where the parents, considering themselves good Christians try to “drive the devil out” of their child.

  • tricksterson

    What’s Frank Sinatra got to do with this?

  • tricksterson

    It’s like the Hitler/Darth Vader rap battle. Amusing at first until you realize that, as Hitler points out himself, Hitler was real.

  • Jenny Islander


    My male parent liked to ritualize his sexual abuse of me, and possibly of others, but I never saw what he did to anyone else. He liked to pretend that the basement was his secret lair, that making me clumsily hack around a dead magpie (that he had either trapped and killed or just found, not sure which) was animal sacrifice, and so on, and so on, sparing the disgusting details, until he had gotten himself very excited and worked his way up to what he was there for. Pretending that I was enacting rituals that would put me in Hell was definitely part of the excitement for him. The point is, even if there had been somebody like-minded in his small town where everybody pretty much knew everybody else, how could he possibly have known? At one point he had a drug-dealing sleazo sleeping on our couch, and he walked in on what my father was doing and was horrified and sickened (but not horrified enough to report it because of some kind of deal he had going with my father). That was as close as he ever got to some kind of “network.” If anybody else had discovered his “hobby,” his ass would have been in jail!

    I’m sure he wasn’t the only child-abusing scumbag who liked rituals, but before the Internet, how could they have found each other? And if they now use the Internet, why hasn’t anybody found them?

  • dpolicar

    Thank you for sharing this, and thank you for the TW.

    I’m not sure how exactly people coordinate these sorts of illegal activities on the Internet, but I would expect that one approach is to create an anonymous account on a reliably anonymity-preserving server, engage in fully honest but anonymous conversations to the point that they decide to meet in real life, arrange a meeting, and discover that they are both actually law-enforcement agents running a sting.

    Well, OK, maybe not that last part.

  • tricksterson

    i always got the opposite impression, that “the Spirit” was God

  • tricksterson

    Considering that the Founding Fathers were mostly wealthy oligarchs, they may have.

  • tricksterson

    Why must you crush my dreams?