Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 88: ‘Sunday afternoons’

Restaurants probably took a bit of a hit from the Rapture — what with there now being 2 billion or so fewer potential customers. Chuck E. Cheese and other such places catering to children would, of course, be out of business for good. (It probably also would be best, post-Rapture, for restaurants to remove the kids’ pages from their menus, as the uncontrolled sobbing they would likely provoke could be distracting to the other diners.) [Read more…]

Secret conversions and the celebrity double-standard

If you want to be beloved by white evangelicals, then, your best bet is to never become one of them. Stay an outsider, but occasionally say things about God that they can celebrate and feel affirmed by. Smile in their direction, but from a distance. (See, for example: Reagan, Ronald.) [Read more…]

NRA: How not to evangelize, Step 1

Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins frame this whole conversation as some steely contest of nerves — a high-stakes negotiation, a struggle for dominance, and an exercise in brinksmanship, with Buck and Verna staring one another down to see who blinks first. That’s probably not the best way to think about evangelism. [Read more…]

He’s got the biggest King James you’ve ever seen

“Look, half of my possessions, Lord, I will give to the poor; and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will pay back four times as much.” That’s how I know that Zacchaeus was “born again.” Plus: What spiritual maturity isn’t; giant sinkholes in Siberia; an astonishing inside look at private prisons; and some other links to distract from the absence of a “Nicolae” post. [Read more…]

James Dobson is reliably untrustworthy

It seems that some of the same right-wing hacks who have for years suggested that Barack Obama is a secret Muslim now want us to believe that Donald Trump is a secret born-again Christian. Asked to defend his claim of Trump’s secret conversion, James Dobson instead pointed out that, to him, defeating Hillary Clinton was more important than whether or not he’s telling the truth. [Read more…]

Sunday favorites

“Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil.” [Read more…]

The Left Behind franchise is coming for your children

“Vanished: Left Behind the Next Generation” is coming to theaters in September. Because religious tribalism means even very bad, money-losing movies get to be a franchise. Let’s look at the trailer. [Read more…]

Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 87: ‘Episode IV’

As you select names for your characters, for the businesses where they work, and for the town or city in which your story is set, you may decide that these names should be not only apt, but Meaningful. Good for you. Meaningful Names can reinforce character and theme. But some subtlety is required. [Read more…]

Good morning Britain

I’m sure not everyone in the UK who just voted to set fire to the bedsheets shared all of the ugly racism of UKIP supporters. Others apparently just thought it might be fun to swing the wrecking ball and see what happens. We could think of such people as Jesse Ventura Voters or as Arnold Schwarzenegger Voters or as Assholes Who Don’t Care If Vulnerable People Suffer Just As Long As They, Personally, Are Entertained. [Read more…]

‘Religious outreach’

While Donald Trump’s evangelical outreach continues to flail — “We’ve gotta spiritize this country!” — another election year brings about the quadrennial ritual of articles fretting about the need for “religious outreach” by Democrats. Remember, though, that Hillary Clinton’s long history with her United Methodist Church and her involvement with its women’s groups doesn’t count, because mainline Protestantism doesn’t count. “Religious outreach by Democrats” only counts if it involves obsequious overtures to white evangelicals. [Read more…]