Do you ever get mired in a situation or conversation and then wondered how the heck you got there? I’m involved in a couple of organizations. I’ve served on many boards in the past few decades. One thing continues to be the same: Miscommunication causes major issues that should never have been an issue in the first place.
The last time I was involved in a union contract negotiation setting I saw close friends divided on those kinds of issues. One person hears that this person’s best friend’s daughter’s boyfriend who plays racquetball with the guy in charge of supplying cups to the caterer who services the aircraft ABSOLUTELY knows that his workgroup is getting something our workgroup isn’t.
Nuclear-implosion on social media takes off at supersonic speed and we obviously need better negotiators. Seriously? I mean, how many times have you seen a whole thread of discussion on some issue that divides friends and colleagues, only to find out after the damage is done that it was a satirical news item from “The Onion” or some other media?
It doesn’t matter whether we’re talking about organizations or our personal relationships. The best way to get to the bottom of a question or concern is to go to the source. Otherwise the only discussion is pure speculation at best or gossip at worst.
Another factor that figures in on situations like this is unresolved issues from the past or old hurts we’ve not allowed to heal. If we hear something that in any way relates to the past pain, we can experience a wave of justification for that past act overlaying the current issue.
In the case of politics, the public will often believe anything they hear that’s derogatory about the candidate they oppose regardless of whether or not the report is based in fact. Likewise, those people who are supporting the same candidate likely disbelieve anything that would sully the representation of their chosen one.
In my mind this all boils down to just how much drama we want in our lives. Do we want to react in high-bustle righteous indignation, or find out if there is even an issue? The choice is ours, of course, but I’ll vote for the loving sit-down conversation over a testy email or text message.
In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,
Terry
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