Broken

My best friend Candie Flores and my husband do not read books. They just don't. So when one of them says "hey, I'm reading this book and it's really good", I listen.Last week Candie texted me about this book called "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion and told me that it was really good. It's about grief and how so many people feel the need to shove their grief down for the sake of others' happiness. Also how we as a culture reward people who seem to "move on" and be "strong" which … [Read more...]

Book Review- Healing Promises: The Essential Guide to the Sacred Heart

The first Mass when I realized there was something special about Communion was at my Tio Roy's parish in Three Rivers, Texas. I was the maid of honor for my cousins's wedding at the age of fourteen. I had no interest in Catholicism since I considered myself still Baptist at the time. In fact, I was pretty anti-Catholic, but for the first time in my life I looked at my cousin and her new husband receiving Communion and wondered why I was not allowed to receive. I also wondered what was so special … [Read more...]

A Note From Way Back Here

It was the 4th of July 1994, I was seventeen and 9 months pregnant with my first child. My best friend and her family invited me to the local fireworks show that evening. I managed to somehow get my very pregnant self on the hood of her car (you know your friend loves you when she allows you to get on the hood of her car when you are that big) to watch the fireworks go off.I was just a child myself waiting on my baby to be born. I had no idea what our life together was going to look like. I … [Read more...]

The Tomb of Grief

Last week I wrote about what happened the day that my son Anthony died by committing suicide, it had been five very fast but extremely heavy weeks. Today it’s six weeks and a day after the one year anniversary of my uncle’s death. To sum up how this last year has been let me tell you a story: the neighbor told me yesterday that the cat my dead uncle gave to my now dead kid was found dead months ago by the mailboxes. That is a lot of death in one sentence, if it’s hard to read, just try living in … [Read more...]

The Death of My Son

 Five weeks ago at this time I was laying in my bed as my oldest son came into my room without knocking. He sat down in the chair across from me. Right now I’m sitting in my bed and looking at that empty chair as I write this. He sat down and began to talk to me about marrying his girlfriend in the Church. He asked me if he could move back into our house while they went through marriage prep. I told him he could. We talked about expectations, goals, life and the day he was baptized. … [Read more...]

Grief part 27

Here's the thing that a lot of people do not get about losing people you love. Who you love has nothing to do with who someone else loves. For instance, you may think that losing an aunt is no big deal because you aunts are all crazy and you haven't talked to any of them in 13 years. I get that. I have 8 aunts that are my mother's sisters who I have not talked to in a decade and who are all insane. I have one uncle that I haven't seen in maybe twenty years. But my Tio Roy was like a father to … [Read more...]

Book Review: Lent with Saint Teresa of Calcutta

Happy Fat Tuesday everyone! Every year I get a stack of books ready for Lent. Mostly I get books that will help me to remember that it is Lent and that the point of Lent is to shut out the outside world as much as possible to nourish my relationship with God. For me, God is mostly silent the whole time and my life goes up in flames. My life is crazy anyway so I am kind of used to it but Lent really brings out the extra special crazy. For example, for the last four years we get lice on the Monday … [Read more...]

Two days ago I had a really bad day. Every single wound I have ever had in my life surfaced on some level in a matter of  hours. My sexual abuse as a child, worry for my child, the relationship with my mother, the grief of my Tio and Tia, drama on social media and the news that someone I care about is ill, all collided and I was emotionally overloaded. I sat in my car crying and wondering when all this was going to end. When Lord?I was also very hungry so my husband took me out to dinner at … [Read more...]

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/throughbrokenroses/2017/02/24/1987/

Rejecting God

It's no secret to anyone who has been reading my blog these past ten months that my uncle's death has sent me into a crisis of faith. I am not really sure if "crisis" is the right word because it isn't like I am struggling to believe in God, His Goodness or that everything that happens in my life will help save me, even the suffering because God has to power to do that. I know all of these things. So what is my problem? I am not sure but I had a little bit of an aha moment about what my "crisis" … [Read more...]

Thank you Bishop Joe Vasquez

I was a brand new Catholic when Bishop Joe Vasquez was appointed to my Diocese. I didn't know anything about him. Was he going to be a good shepherd? Would he be able to stand against the issues facing our community with love and compassion but without fear of speaking the truth? I didn't know. But someone I trust did know. My RCIA director, Noe, knew Bishop Joe Vasquez from his days as a parish priest in San Angelo. Having Noe Rocha's approval meant a lot to me because I know for a fact that … [Read more...]