Interview with Shaun Morgan from Seether about Suicide

I met Shaun Morgan, the lead singer of Seether, in 2005 at Hooters in Amarillo, when I enlisted him in helping me with a surprise for my best friend (from South Africa, like the band) who survived cancer. And by “enlist,” I mean I stalked him and weirdly just sat next to him as he drank a beer. Not only did he make my friend’s night by dedicating “Broken” to us, but he was a genuinely great guy. He was… Read more

Broken

My best friend Candie Flores and my husband do not read books. They just don’t. So when one of them says “hey, I’m reading this book and it’s really good”, I listen. Last week Candie texted me about this book called “The Year of Magical Thinking” by Joan Didion and told me that it was really good. It’s about grief and how so many people feel the need to shove their grief down for the sake of others’ happiness. Also… Read more

Book Review- Healing Promises: The Essential Guide to the Sacred Heart

The first Mass when I realized there was something special about Communion was at my Tio Roy’s parish in Three Rivers, Texas. I was the maid of honor for my cousins’s wedding at the age of fourteen. I had no interest in Catholicism since I considered myself still Baptist at the time. In fact, I was pretty anti-Catholic, but for the first time in my life I looked at my cousin and her new husband receiving Communion and wondered why… Read more

A Note From Way Back Here

I was just a child myself waiting on my baby to be born. I had no idea what our life together was going to look like. Read more

The Tomb of Grief

Last week I wrote about what happened the day that my son Anthony died by committing suicide, it had been five very fast but extremely heavy weeks. Today it’s six weeks and a day after the one year anniversary of my uncle’s death. To sum up how this last year has been let me tell you a story: the neighbor told me yesterday that the cat my dead uncle gave to my now dead kid was found dead months ago… Read more

The Death of My Son

  Five weeks ago at this time I was laying in my bed as my oldest son came into my room without knocking. He sat down in the chair across from me. Right now I’m sitting in my bed and looking at that empty chair as I write this. He sat down and began to talk to me about marrying his girlfriend in the Church. He asked me if he could move back into our house while they went through… Read more

Grief part 27

Here’s the thing that a lot of people do not get about losing people you love. Who you love has nothing to do with who someone else loves. For instance, you may think that losing an aunt is no big deal because you aunts are all crazy and you haven’t talked to any of them in 13 years. I get that. I have 8 aunts that are my mother’s sisters who I have not talked to in a decade and… Read more

Book Review: Lent with Saint Teresa of Calcutta

Happy Fat Tuesday everyone! Every year I get a stack of books ready for Lent. Mostly I get books that will help me to remember that it is Lent and that the point of Lent is to shut out the outside world as much as possible to nourish my relationship with God. For me, God is mostly silent the whole time and my life goes up in flames. My life is crazy anyway so I am kind of used to… Read more

Two days ago I had a really bad day. Every single wound I have ever had in my life surfaced on some level in a matter of  hours. My sexual abuse as a child, worry for my child, the relationship with my mother, the grief of my Tio and Tia, drama on social media and the news that someone I care about is ill, all collided and I was emotionally overloaded. I sat in my car crying and wondering when… Read more

Rejecting God

It’s no secret to anyone who has been reading my blog these past ten months that my uncle’s death has sent me into a crisis of faith. I am not really sure if “crisis” is the right word because it isn’t like I am struggling to believe in God, His Goodness or that everything that happens in my life will help save me, even the suffering because God has to power to do that. I know all of these things…. Read more

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