A Confession: I May Be a Neo-Hipster


Busted by a colleague, Bethany Stolle, I was sent an article from McSweeney’s, excerpted below.  While it’s true that I’m currently growing out an Bon Iveresque beard, and I wear glasses from Warby Parker, nota bene that I live in a house that, upon seeing it, Nadia Bolz-Weber exclaimed, “Oh dear God, Tony, not a split level!”

Anyway, the piece is fracking hilarious (yes, I watch BSG, and yes that’s kind of hipster).

Hey guys, long time no see, toss me a PBR—actually, better make it a Coors Light. I know, I look different, but before you all start saying how I look like some midtown suit, let me explain. I haven’t gone pleb on you, I’m actually a neo-hipster now. It’s basically where you’re a hipster, but since hipsterism has gone so mainstream you dress and act like a regular person, ironically.

It’s like this. In the morning when I wake up, I’ll put on a pair of skinny jeans and a Sonics t-shirt—but then when it’s time to go out, I’ll ironically slap on a pair of runners, some blue jeans, and a no-name golf shirt I ironically bought at Target. And those thick-rimmed glasses I used to wear? I still wear them in my house, but I got them changed to a zero prescription since I recently ironically got laser eye surgery.

via McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: You Look at Me Like You’ve Never Seen a Neo-Hipster Before..

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  • If I saw your house I would say JCMFG. Just to show you how irreverent I am. You are probably by now trying to figure out the vulgarity of the letters by running all the dirty, dirty words that are tucked away in your sanctified mind. However…..blood hell…… you wouldn’t be able to know unless you were British

  • DRT

    But what do you do with the tats now?