Busted by a colleague, Bethany Stolle, I was sent an article from McSweeney’s, excerpted below. While it’s true that I’m currently growing out an Bon Iveresque beard, and I wear glasses from Warby Parker, nota bene that I live in a house that, upon seeing it, Nadia Bolz-Weber exclaimed, “Oh dear God, Tony, not a split level!”
Anyway, the piece is fracking hilarious (yes, I watch BSG, and yes that’s kind of hipster).
Hey guys, long time no see, toss me a PBR—actually, better make it a Coors Light. I know, I look different, but before you all start saying how I look like some midtown suit, let me explain. I haven’t gone pleb on you, I’m actually a neo-hipster now. It’s basically where you’re a hipster, but since hipsterism has gone so mainstream you dress and act like a regular person, ironically.It’s like this. In the morning when I wake up, I’ll put on a pair of skinny jeans and a Sonics t-shirt—but then when it’s time to go out, I’ll ironically slap on a pair of runners, some blue jeans, and a no-name golf shirt I ironically bought at Target. And those thick-rimmed glasses I used to wear? I still wear them in my house, but I got them changed to a zero prescription since I recently ironically got laser eye surgery.