Adam McLane has a guest post by a friend of his who, as a Christian, has struggled with his sexuality, and with the way that Christian groups have demeaned him:
I managed to keep in secret until about 18 when I told my high school counselor. He sympathized and explain that there were other people out there like me. Once I got to college, my life would change.
It did. My first week at college I became a Christian.
And I was still gay.
In the college Christian group I was a part of, there were great people, but a large majority of them used the words homo, queer, and faggot. I was in some deep trouble.
I had to hide the fact that I was gay. I mean, who could I tell? And the pressure to date was nearly insurmountable.
I managed coming out to some friends, but the loneliness, the isolation was great. No one got it.
That was about 20 years ago.
Since then I’ve tried counseling for 7 years; it was helpful to unpack a lot of the abuse I took, but I still wasn’t attracted to women.
I had a girlfriend in seminary for a year and a half. I thought I could change and make it work.
I didn’t. I broke her heart.
READ THE REST: The F Word, Part 2.