A Bond-Breaking Spell for a Magickal Divorce

Love rarely comes with an “off” switch.  You’ve been heartbroken before, right? It’s a difficult place to land. Especially when you know it is completely OVER – you have a list as long as your arm for why breaking up is the only solution – and yet you still ache for their touch. You mourn the loss of shared dreams, and lie awake obsessively second-guessing every detail of the demise. Maybe you are angry with yourself about how they anger you, and that pisses you off…into a downward spiral of self-loathing and blame. Consider this emotional bond-breaking spell your magickal divorce.

CC0 Creative Commons - Pixabay
CC0 Creative Commons – Pixabay

Harboring baneful thoughts and feelings is a waste of your power. It only harms YOU. It’s like drinking poison, and waiting for your enemy to die.  No matter why a relationship comes to close, “breaking up is hard to do.” This spell isn’t limited to marital divorces, it can be used to sever any type of relationship. Witches aren’t immune to heartbreak, but when we need an emotional divorce, magick can help get our heads and hearts singing in harmony once again.

Lemon Bond-Breaking Spell for a Magickal Divorce

Step 1: Mental – Know why they must be released

The first step to any magickal working begins with knowing what needs to change and why. If you are feeding an emotional bond that no longer serves the highest good of both parties, it is time to break it. As you prepare, write yourself a list of all the reasons that it is time to let go. At the top of the list: Free Will. Neither party can be coerced to be in relationship if they don’t want to be there. End of story.

However, in order to learn and heal, it helps to at least know the make and model of the love-truck that just ran you over. Try to keep your list constructive, understanding that every being has their own path to tread, lessons to both learn and to teach. We all take turns playing the roles of villain and hero in each other’s narratives. Get out of your heart and into your head for a minute: if they behaved badly toward you, perhaps there is some inner wound they are reacting to that has nothing to do with you. Forgiveness goes a long way toward healing your own heart.

The Hermetic Principle of Vibration (Law of Attraction) informs us that we all draw to ourselves the lessons we need to work through. This is a tough thing to accept, but let me plant this seed of thought: There is one common denominator in every failed relationship you’ve ever been in: you. What role have you been playing in other folk’s lives? How have your choices led you to this difficult moment? Learn from it.

Now that you KNOW, what is your WILL moving forward? Do something different this time. Release the old roles you’ve been playing, shed that identity and create a new one.

Step 2: Will – Do the Things

This spell is best enacted on a Tuesday (day of Mars), when the moon is waning.

Materials Needed:

  • Scissors
  • A sharp knife.; white-handled boline is the ideal magickal tool, should you have one.
  • An offering bowl.
  • Black, woven fabric, at least a yard of it. It will be ripped into approximately 24″ x 24″ square, leaving the raw edges. I angle towards natural fibers like cotton or linen. This could be fabric yardage or harvested from something else. For example, I had this old cotton tapestry with Ganesha, Hindu God and Remover of Obstacles, printed on it. That was appropriate for this spell, and we have a special relationship with Ganesha in my house, so this was my choice.
  • 1/2 cup or more of chunky Sea Salt
  • 1 fat lemon – both for purification and water associations.
  • 13 steel sewing pins – adding Mars, fiery energy of the Will.
  • 3″x3″ square Kraft paper, cut from a grocery store bag.
  • Pen with black ink. I use a pen that I consecrated for magickal use.
  • 2 Tablespoons of prepared “Acceptance” Water.
  • One copper penny – copper is the metal of Venus, to conduct and attract Divine Love.
  • A small glass vial or jar with a lid.
My Daring Cauldron and the Magick of Snow Water - Witch on Fire
Bottled Snow “Acceptance Water” in Cauldron of fresh Snow – Photo by Heron Michelle

Gathering “Acceptance” Water

You’ll need to go read my article Snow Water for Emotional Acceptance .There you will find an in-depth explanation about the two powers of water: daring vs. acceptance that we are tapping for this spell. Here is a snip:

The receptive power of acceptance is an acknowledgment of the present mold that defines me. I have to know who I am now (the good, the bad and the ugly) in order to diagnose my wounds, strengthen my weaknesses, and put my strengths to work for me. I have to know where I am, so that I can chart a course to where I want to be.

The projective power of daring is what breaks the mold to redefine us. Daring to overflow the cauldron’s edge can only happen after we discover where that edge lies…then we boldly go where we’ve never gone before. Once the cauldron spills, there is no containing this power…it flows wherever it chooses with free-will. Daring is the boldness to heal our wounds, improve our weaknesses, and overcome all obstacles.

If you happen to have snow available right now, go gather yourself some, and follow the direction in that post to prepare it. Should snow NOT be accessible to you at this moment, worry not! Acceptance water can be collected anywhere that natural waters pool up gently in some container. You can set your chalice or cauldron outside in a gentle rain. Or should you have access to a placid pond that’s not too funky, gather some there. The morning dew that collects on flowers is healing for a broken heart – roses especially. You’ll only need about 2 tablespoons worth for this working.

Lemon cut in half, salt, 13 steel pins, and a 3"x3" square of Kraft Paper that says "Release"
Lemon Bond-Breaking Spell Materials – Photo by Heron Michelle

Step 3: Emotional – Dare to Redefine the Boundaries with Magick.

Open your sacred space in your normal manner. Light any candles or incense you desire, evoke the Deities and Spiritual Allies that you’ve chosen to work with – . Open the Elemental gateways with special calls to the Powers of Water.

Powers of the West and of Water, I summon, stir and call you to my aid in the severing of these emotional bonds I hold with ______. Teach me your lessons of acceptance, that I may be healed, restoring wholeness within my own boundaries once more. Join me as I Dare to purge myself of all baneful influence – past, present and future – and redefine myself through the grace of Divine Love. Hail and Welcome!

Rending the Fabric

The rending and cutting in this spell are important acts of WILL and applying your FIRES. Do these acts with the fervor, power, and muscle over physical things, to represent the severing of your intangible feelings. Woven fabrics (not stretchy) tear easily in a straight line along their weave. Our intention is to tear a 24″ square piece for the spell.

Measure to 24″ along two sides of the fabric, and snip about a half inch in with your scissors at the mark. Gather up the fabric into your fist on both sides of one of the snips. Visualize a cord connecting your emotional and mental bodies: Now RIP THAT CORD ASUNDER! Give it a primal growl while you do so.

Turn the fabric to the snip at 24″ on other side, gather up the fabric in your fists, visualize the cord that connects between your physical bodies and body of the Will: RIP IT APART! Howl, growl and scream at it if you want.

Writing your Intention Paper

On your 3″ x 3″ square of kraft paper, write 9 lines of this phrase, chanting it aloud as your write: “I release (name of person) in peace.” Note that there are also 9 chambers in the sliced lemon in the image below. 3×3 is a powerful magickal number, and stating your intentions 9 times, fills 9 chambers, on both sides of the lemon.

Now, turn the paper 90 degrees counter-clockwise. Crossing the original lines, writing and chanting aloud 9 lines of: (Your Name) is complete. Use the affirmation of your choice – what specifically are  you wanting for yourself? Healing? Normally I wouldn’t speak in third person about myself, but I think if we are going to start using names, we need to do so in both sides of the spell, and claim the work for ourselves in our own name.

I always end spells with So Mote It Be! What can I say? I like the old school ceremonial feel of the phrase.

Fold the paper away from you in half, bottom edge lifted to meet top edge. Write across the rectangle, “For the Highest Good of all Involved, Harming None.” Or whatever caveats you typically add to your spells.

Turn it 90 degrees counter-clockwise again, then fold it away from you, lifting the bottom edge to align with top edge again, draw on the remaining square any symbols of protection and balance you use. I chose the pentacle.

three steps in writing and folding an intention paper
Writing your Intention Paper – this is just an example, y’all. I don’t even know a Joe Smith, and I’m not breaking up with anybody!

Cutting the Lemon – Separating your Waters

Cradle the Lemon to your heart. Lemon has magical associations with elemental water, and purification. Think on how you’ve welcomed that person into your heart-space – your “waters” have commingled together. The lemon represents your emotional body – your heart – and we need to separate your “waters,” from theirs. With your knife, cut the lemon in half around it’s fat waistline.

One in each hand, hold a lemon half over your offering bowl. Saying,

“I release (name) in peace. Leave my heart, now and forever. Flow toward your own horizon, far away. My heart is purified of all that does not serve my highest good. I am complete within myself. As I will, it is so; So Mote it be!”

Squeeze the lemons into the offering bowl – these juices represent the emotions you held for that person, now drained away. Pour in 1 tablespoon of the acceptance water so that they, too, may find acceptance and peace. Later on, move the juice/water to a small glass jar or vial for transport in the last step.

Folded Intention Paper placed between Lemon Halves - Photo by Heron Michelle
Folded Intention Paper placed between Lemon Halves – notice the 9 chambers of the lemon – Photo by Heron Michelle

Mending your heart with the Steel of your Will

Pour 1 tablespoon of prepared acceptance waters into one half of the lemon, saying:

“I am complete within Divine Love.” 

Place the folded intention paper in between the two halves. Place the copper penny in the other half, saying:

“Divine Love fills my heart. I am healed on all levels.”

Put the lemon halves back together, and using the 13 steel pins, “sew” the halves back together. With each pin, repeat the affirmation: “I am complete within Divine Love.”

Lemon Spell - Intention Paper Inside pinned together with 13 steel pins on a Bed of Salt
Lemon Halves Pinned together with 13 Steel Pins – Heron Michelle

At the center of the black cloth, pour half your salt, place the lemon on top, then pour over the rest of the salt. Gather up two opposing corners of the cloth and tie. Gather up the other corners and tie them into a compact bundle. The bundle my live on your altar until you are able to travel to a River.

For now, release your Spirit Allies, Deities and close the elemental gates to water with your gratitude.

Lemon Bond-Breaking Bundle Wrapped in Black Fabric and sitting on Altar Paten
Wrapped Lemon Bond-Breaking Bundle on Altar Paten – Photo by Heron Michelle

Step 4: Physical – Buried in the Banks of the River. Be Silent.

This may be the hard part, depending on where you live. Journey to the banks of a deeply flowing river. Take the bundle, the vial of lemon juice/water, and an offering of gratitude with you.

Standing with one foot in the river, and one foot on the banks, hold the bundle to your heart space. Call upon the Great God/dess and the flow of their Divine Love through all things. Call upon the Powers of Water as both Daring (the river itself) and Acceptance (the banks.) The river is that Divine Love, flowing in the direction of its Wyrd, its Divine destiny. The banks give that water structure, guidance and acceptance of that destiny.

 “…Teach me your lessons of acceptance, that I may be healed, restoring wholeness within my own boundaries once more. Aid me as I Dare to redefine myself through the grace of Divine Love….”

Pour the vial of lemon juice “emotions” into the river. Release all lingering thoughts, feelings, and connections to the past relationship. Say your final goodbyes with gratitude. “You are released.” I tend to say, “Namasté Away” in moments like these, because I’m a bit of a smart-ass. <cackle>

Now, go dig a deep hole on the bank of the river, so that it is within the sturdy earth or rocks that guide the water, but safe from eroding into the waters themselves for a while. The banks will aid you with acceptance of this new condition. Bury the bundle in the hole, covering it over, and beautifying the spot by making a little natural shrine of stacked stones or an arrangement of flowers collected from around the area. Leave your offering of gratitude for the spiritual aid of your allies. Pouring out liquor, lighting incense, or offering flowers are all good ideas.

As the bundle decomposes over time, becoming earth once more and flowing with the river, so your heart will also heal slowly and surely, finding stability and renewal.

Clap your hands three time to break the flow. “So mote it be!” Turn and walk away. Do not look back or visit again. Do not speak of it.

Remember that you are a perfect child of the God/dess.“If that which you seek you find not within, you will never find it without.” (Charge of the Goddess)

Blessed be,

~Heron


Worry not, dear readers…this spell is only brought to you as a public service, and not some passive-aggressive announcement of any broken-heartedness on my part. We’re still lovey-dovey over here in Heron’s rook.

It does not do to speak of such things until they are long finished, but I can report that I do have distant, first-hand experience with a spell of this nature that was effective for me during a dark time. That working inspired this writing, though it took a different tack. A hoodoo root doctor I knew at the time suggested the lemon sewn with 13 pins; however, this is a heavily-adapted creation informed by my Witchcraft practice, and put into new words. It’s an example of how to utilize the “Acceptance Snow Water” I wrote about previously.

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