LOVE Really is the Most Powerful Force in the Universe!
Yes, LOVE really is the most powerful force in the Universe. It can literally soften the hardest heart. In a letter Albert Einstein wrote to his daughter he said, “If instead of E = mc2, we accept that the energy to heal the world can be obtained through love multiplied by the speed of light squared, we arrive at the conclusion that love is the most powerful force there is, because it has no limits.”
Clients come to me through my coaching practice with problems such as a mother whose son was being bullied at school, or a woman with an obnoxious boss who constantly bullied her.
A desperate woman who was in an abusive relationship came to me for help. The man that she and her daughter were living with threatened to kill them both if they tried to leave him.
The Power of Love Can Change Anyone
All these individuals who were under attack felt powerless to do anything about their situation. Yet they had no idea just how much power they really had, through the power of LOVE.
Let me share with you how LOVE helped them each overcome their problems.
This Woman’s Child was Bullied at School
Let’s begin with the woman whose child was being bullied in school. She told me that she was ready to take legal action against the bully’s parents, since the school leaders refused to do anything about it.
First, I explained that ALL OF US have experienced bullying in our life. And we survived. Second, she needed to understand that it was her child’s problem, and he needed to learn how to deal with it.
Parents need to understand that they are the child’s Coach, not the child’s Superhero, ready to take anyone out who hurts them.
Teach Your Child to Handle Their Own Problems
As much as parents want to, you must realize that this won’t teach them a thing! When your child learned how to ride a bike, they had to fall a few times before they were finally able to properly ride it.
I know you cringed every time they fell, but you also understood that this was something they had to do for themselves.
I Was Bullied in School
I was bullied in school, so I could sympathize with this woman. Fortunately for me, I had a wonderful mother who helped me through it.
When I was 14 years old, I came home from school one day, crying because a mean boy kept making fun of me. While I sat there crying, my mother said to me, “Well, you do know that it isn’t about you, don’t you?”
What? Of COURSE it was about me! My mother continued, “You have no idea what’s going on in that boy’s life.
“Maybe he’s bullied at home, which makes him feel bad, so he comes to school and takes it out on someone at school, to make himself feel better. Or maybe he’s struggling in school, and he’s jealous of how smart you are. Either way, HE’s the one with the problem.”
My Mother Instructed Me to Send Love to the Bully
So I asked my mother what I should do, and she said, “The next time he bullies you, I want you to send him lots of love. I’m pretty sure he isn’t getting much at home, and you have been lucky to have parents who love you. You can spread some of that love around.”
Truthfully, I really didn’t understand how sending love to that boy would stop him from bullying me, but I decided to try it. Sure enough, the next day there he was, yelling at me and calling me names. I just stood there looking at him, wondering what was going on in his life to make him so unhappy, and kept sending him lots of love.
Fortunately for me, he could tell that his bullying wasn’t bothering me anymore, so he turned around and walked away. He never bullied me again.
Wow! My mother was right! Sending love really did cause him to stop bullying me!
Don’t Make Your Child a Victim!
You need to understand that making a big deal of bullying only makes THE BULLY feel more powerful, and your CHILD feel like a victim. This victim mentality may very well carry into their adult life.
And you don’t want that! You want to teach your children to stand up for themselves, yes, but you also want to teach them higher self-esteem, compassion, and empathy for the bully.
Also, the most difficult lesson that we must learn in this physical “dog eat dog” world is that sending love does not make us a sissy. It makes us powerful, because, as I have said over and over, Love is the Most Powerful Force in the Universe.
You want to make sure that when your child learns to have compassion and empathy for the bully, who is probably being bullied as well, that is a lesson your child will remember for the rest of his or her life and will help them cope with the bullies they will be faced with when they become adults.
This Woman’s Boss Constantly Bullied Her
As for the woman whose boss was constantly bullying her, once again I made her understand that IT WAS NEVER ABOUT HER. She didn’t know what was going on in her boss’s life.
I encouraged her to begin sending her boss lots of love, from the moment she woke up in the morning and as she was drifting off to sleep.
Yes, she was skeptical, but I asked, “What do you have to lose? The worst thing that can happen is that lots of love comes back to you, since what goes around comes around, right?”
Her Boss Completely Changed!
Sure enough, within two weeks her boss completely changed his attitude toward her. He apologized for his mean behavior, stating that the people in authority over him were giving him a hard time about a major project they were working on, and he said that he was so grateful for the great job she did.
What About the Woman in the Abusive Relationship?
I could tell that the woman who was in an abusive relationship needed some extra help. I suspected that she had been exposed to abusive behavior as a child, and when I questioned her, she confirmed it.
I used to volunteer for the Battered Women’s Hotline, and I knew from experience that 90% of the women I talked to went back to the abusive man, so I knew this woman would need to work through her childhood trauma.
I Helped Her Work Through Childhood Trauma
I took her through my program, “From Powerless to Powerful in 4 Simple Steps.” Once she understood that IT WAS NEVER ABOUT HER, that he was probably abused himself as a child, she was able to forgive her father and release him, and she could begin to distance herself from this abusive man she was living with.
She needed to understand that sending love to this abusive man would result in one of two things: Either he would change into a nice person, or he couldn’t handle the love she was sending him and would ask her to leave.
Just in case, we needed to prepare for the time when she may need to move. She agreed that every morning when they awoke, and every night before going to sleep, she and her daughter would be sending him lots of love.
This Abusive Man Asked Her to Leave!
Sure enough, within two weeks HE KICKED HER OUT! Can you believe that he told her that he was tired of her and gave her a few days to pack her things and leave! Wow! And she was so delighted!
Also, because we had planned for this to happen, she already had a place to move to!
Love is Truly the Most Powerful Force in the Universe!