You Deserve a Loving Relationship

You Deserve a Loving Relationship January 23, 2024


You Deserve a Loving Relationship/Image courtesy of Bing Copyright-Free Images

Yes, You Deserve a Loving Relationship

Yes, you deserve a loving relationship, and are entitled to love, joy and happiness.  Wayne Dyer said it best: Know that success and inner peace are your birthright, that you are a child of God and as such that you’re entitled to a life filled with joy, love and happiness.”  

Loving relationships cover a wide area.  It includes love between you and your significant other, or your parents, siblings, friends…the list goes on and on.  I will address each of these relationships in several future posts.

Loving Relationships with Significant Others

Let’s begin with a loving relationship with your significant other. Loving relationships don’t seem to last very long anymore.  Statistics on this type of relationship are not good.

According to an article in The Guardian magazine, marriage between 1970 and 2011 dropped nearly 60%.  Also, divorce in America is averaging about 50%.

Loving Relationships Over 50

Most of the people I know who are over 50 have been married two or three times.  And now many of them are single, and alone, and have no desire to pursue another relationship.  Many of these people also witnessed their parents divorcing, resulting in the mother working more than one job to support the family. As a result, the children were left to fend for themselves.

So, the relationship these children had with their absent father was even more difficult. The guilty father tried to make up for leaving by giving his kids lots of “stuff.” And since he only saw them once a week or later, he never got to know them, or help and guide them in their everyday ups and downs.

Loving Relationships Sabotaged by Negative Baggage

All this dysfunction in the family unit has resulted in men and women today having a difficult time finding and keeping a loving relationship.  So, what is the answer?

The answer is to acknowledge that this excess baggage you are carrying around from your formative years is sabotaging your chances for lasting love.  And you need to clear it out before you will find that loving relationship that will last.

The famous poet Rumi said it best: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.   Why not think about opening your heart, my friends.  Stop missing out on the opportunity to experience love!”

A Loving Relationship for My Friend Tonya 

My friend Tonya confessed to me that she was now in her late 30s and was not having any luck with a loving relationship that lasted.  I explained to her that a loving relationship is her Birthright as a Child of God, so the first thing she should do is Claim her Birthright.

I handed her a piece of paper and told her to write a Letter of Gratitude to God.  She wrote, “Thank You God for bringing me a loving relationship that is here for me right now!  I am claiming my Birthright as Your child.  I trust You will bring me a man who is the perfect person for my Highest and Best Good.”

No Loving Relationship Appeared

Tonya became discouraged. Many months passed, and this special man failed to appear.  So I explained that, since God never lies, and His gift to her was a loving relationship, then we needed to look at what she was doing to block it.

So, I explained that many times Core Issues from childhood will sabotage us today.  And I encouraged her to write down everything she could remember about relationships she had with her mother and father and siblings in her formative years that could be holding her back from receiving a loving relationship.

She Was Ready to Share Her Notes

It took her about a week before she called to tell me she was ready to share with me what she wrote.  When we got together, she pulled out 5 PAGES of things that happened during her childhood.  Her abusive father left when she was around 8 years old.  She felt relieved that he wouldn’t hit her anymore, and she never saw him again.

And her mother completely shut down and showed no love or interest in her and her brother.  And then her brother chose to take his anger out on her, constantly berating her and bullying her. Is it any wonder that she had been unable to maintain a loving relationship?

Her Formative Years Sabotaged Her Today

So, her whole experience with males during her formative years left her thinking that they would only abuse or bully her, and on some level, she was sabotaging all her relationships.

And now that she understood how she was blocking a loving relationship, she wanted to know what she could do about it.

Forgiveness was the First Step

The first step was forgiveness.  I explained that forgiving her father didn’t mean that she condoned his actions.  What if he was treated the same way he treated her during his formative years?

And her mother also could have been treated poorly during her formative years.  So she attracted an abusive man who treated her the way her father treated her.  She just shut down so she couldn’t be hurt anymore.  She only knew cruelty and pain from the men in her life.

Also, her brother felt powerless to do anything about his father’s abuse.  So he took his feelings of powerless out on her, since it made him feel powerful.

She Chose to Forgive

She understood that it was time to forgive and bless and release her family members.  So, we took her 5-page narrative out to my wood deck, where she repeated her forgiveness, blessing and releasing of all of them. We then burned her 5 pages in the grill.

Also, we re-affirmed her Gratitude to God for bringing that perfect person into her life.  And Tonya felt that now it really was possible to meet that perfect man.

She Met a Wonderful Man Within the Month!

Tonya met a wonderful man within the month! He proposed! So Tonya got that loving relationship that she deserves!

As I always said, God never lies.  So, if you are having trouble finding or keeping a lasting relationship, look at your formative years to see if you are sabotaging your chances for love.

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