Diocese Creates GoFundMe Page After Spending Funds On Powerball Tickets

Diocese Creates GoFundMe Page After Spending Funds On Powerball Tickets January 15, 2016

lottery (AoftheANews) WALLA WALLA – AoftheA News has learned that the Diocese of Walla Walla (Washington state) spent over a quarter of a million dollars on Wednesday’s $1.6 billion Powerball, and has created a GoFundMe account in order to recoup the money.

According to anonymous sources, diocesan officials spent all the monies that had been collected in 2015 to fund the CCHD (Catholic Campaign for Human Development) – an amount in excess of $275,000. Three winners split the record-setting jackpot – from Florida, Tennessee, and California.

“This is shocking and disappointing,” A.C. Doocey, local CCHD director told AoftheA News. “A number of dubious organizations whose charters are extremely inconsistent with the teachings of the Catholic Church were counting on those funds, and now they have nothing. At the very least, the diocese ought to have bought some scratch-off tickets, which have much better odds of winning.”

The anonymous sources allege that from Sunday, January 10 until late Wednesday, January 13, Sacrament of Confirmation class students were asked to purchase Powerball tickets, in exchange for the requisite community service hours needed to receive the sacrament.

None of the 137,500 tickets produced any winnings – not even matching five digits, which would have grossed a $1 million payout.

“The diocese was hoping to hit it big,” Doocey said. “Instead, they’ve totally embarrassed themselves, and an entire slate of shady agencies actively working against the Church gets zero funding this year.”

The diocese’s GoFundMe page says the following:

Please help the Walla Walla Diocese as we have exhausted all the CCHD funding. We spent all the money on lottery tickets (expecting to win the 1.5 billion) and are now in dire need of cash. With your small donation of at least $1.00, a like  and one share, I’m certain that we will be able to pick ourselves up from the trenches of this lost (sic) and spend another fortune trying to hit it big again! PLEASE, won’t you help a diocese in need. DONATE NOW.

So far, the GoFundMe account has raised $42.50. Click here to make a donation.

Image via Pixabay

Browse Our Archives

What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • I’m waiting for comments from those who don’t know this is a joke.

    • Robin Warchol

      And try to donate

    • pjd

      I knew right away it was a “joke,” but it is not funny.

  • Daniel

    Who donates to the Catholic Campaign for Human Development anyway? They got in trouble due to giving funds to abortionists, ACORN (before it was shutdown) and other anti-Catholic organizations. It would be another situation if the money was to go to the St. Vincent de Paul Society-the group that actually performs the work Doocey claims CCDH performs.

  • A J MacDonald Jr

    This is dumb. Do something more productive with your time.

    • LarryD

      Something more productive like, say, leaving trollish comments on blogs? Nah, that would just make me look petty and bitter.

  • Ann_NV

    One of your best! Still laughing.

  • Chivas Dudley

    I was ready to give a $1000.

  • mike scott

    Note: This appears to be a form of Satire as the link goes to a story about an individual that attempted this.
    While it raised my BP for a while Larry D should clearly point out it is satire.
    Needless to say, I will not be visiting his blog again. While I don’t take myself too seriously, I also suffer fools that think they are “funny” poorly.

    • LarryD

      The post also appears to be Satire because…in the “Filed Under” and “Tagged With” sections directly beneath the post, it says SATIRE.

      And it’s ‘suffer fools WHO think they are “funny” poorly’. Cmon, if you’re going to insult me, at least use proper grammar.

  • Ernest Thurston

    This is the kind of stuff that gets spread all over the internet and gives the Catholic Church a black eye. People will believe a lie faster than the truth when it comes to the Catholic Church. i was on the verge of posting it on Twitter and write to the diocese until I scrolled to the bottom of the page.

  • Mark Ellis

    I don’t think the Diocese of Walla Walla is even a functioning diocese. This article almost had me for a second. The “Satire” tag helped.

    • sez

      Walla Walla is city in the diocese of Spokane (which covers, roughly, the eastern half of Washington State). Walla Walla has 3 parishes. And awesome onions.

      • Mark Ellis

        I’ve been to Walla Wall many years ago. Pass through and stayed overnight on my way to Seattle. Or, maybe I stayed in Spokane. Like I said it was a long time ago. It used to be its own diocese many years ago. Now it’s not. Which makes the gag a little funnier.