How To Deal With Shame, Accusations, And Condemnation

Politics and Personal Life Bring Much Shame to Us. Image: Pixabay

We live in a shame culture now.

In the media frenzy over politics and in our personal lives shaming and cancelling is rife. You can be rejected over even minor faults, which all contributes to relationship breakdown including divorce. Many now live alone, cut off from emotional support from friends and family. Many yearn for the kind of connections seen in the immensely popular sitcoms like Friends and Big Bang. They want to be part of a gang of supportive friends like that. Do you have such a group around you? Are you part of such a group around others? Or are you struggling through hard times alone and feeling overwhelmed, like a failure, and full of shame?

And perhaps no other issue engenders more shame in Christian women than that of abortion. God can and does forgive ANYTHING we do if we turn to him and ask him to.

Is your church a safe place? Is there love and acceptance for everyone whether they are a guilty or a victim of others sin? Or is it a place that adds to the cacophony of rejection many of us hear only too keenly everywhere today?

See also my roundup Trump vs Harris article

In the USA especially at the moment you are very likely to experience this rejection if you are a Christian who has decided they simply cannot vote for the Trump Cult Leader. The voices of accusation are loud. But democrats also report that in some cases they no longer can speak with people in their own families who are republicans.

Trump deals in false accusations, unkindness and incredibly rude and hurtful comments about the people who he sees as his enemy. I worry that this is normalising similar language about the vulnerable in this world. Immigrants are described as having bad genes and being essentially less than people. I have even seen a Christian book which writes about “toxic empathy!” As though compassion is not a biblical value. A huge debate on how kind the church needs to be has sprung up around my last two posts on politics:Kamala vs Trump: Character Really Does Matterv and The Trump Cult is a False Religion Infiltrating the Church. Someone even said they would be compassionate towards people who deserve compassion! I replied:

NOBODY really “deserves” our compassion or for that matter Gods grace. We are meant to care for the least of these for Christ’s sake. Freely we have received freely give. What has happened to Christianity if I even need to explain that?

My article on the Pharisee and the Prostitute demonstrates that Jesus has more problem with those who think they are perfect and superior than he does with someone who knows that are a sinner.

The more normal, gentler approach of Harris is more in keeping with Christian values than the brashness of Trump. I should not have to say that.

As we hurl accusations about politics around, some of them might land in people’s hearts and hurt. And sometimes even in our personal lives we really do have enemies who have accused us of things. Maybe sometimes those accusations are wholly unjust. Maybe though they are at least partly right on the money and we feel guilt, shame and disgrace. Maybe we feel our enemies want us to just give up and die. Sometimes we get so desperate that is what we want to do too. But I want to share some words from the NIV Bible that blessed me this morning.

I like the use of the word vindication here, because that is what many of us are looking for. We want to be seen to be right. It is an idea that in the Bible often uses the word justification. How can we be declared not guilty? This is only through the gospel as my article on the source of our justification explains. But for now, back to the words from Isaiah:

Isaiah. 50

“Because the Sovereign Lord helps me,
I will not be disgraced.
Therefore have I set my face like flint,
and I know I will not be put to shame.
8 He who vindicates me is near.
Who then will bring charges against me?
Let us face each other!
Who is my accuser?
Let him confront me!
9 It is the Sovereign Lord who helps me.
Who will condemn me?
They will all wear out like a garment;
the moths will eat them up.
10 Who among you fears the Lord
and obeys the word of his servant?
Let the one who walks in the dark,
who has no light,
trust in the name of the Lord.”

I pray these words will be true of all of us today. Here are some declarations you can SHOUT today!

NO DISGRACE
NO SHAME
NO GIVING UP (instead setting out faces like flint and powering on somehow!)
GOD WILL VINDICATE ME EVEN IF I AM AS GUILTY AS THEY SAY I AM
THEY CAN SAY WHATEVER THEY LIKE BECAUSE I AM A FORGIVEN CHILD OF A LOVING GOD
NOBODY CAN CONDEMN ME!
I WILL TRUST IN GOD

HALLELUJAH!!