Dress Like a Slut

Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.”   -Cady, Mean Girls

It’s almost Halloween and the pressure is on for our teen and tween girls—the same pressure they face in the sexual rat race of the social network selfie. Forget creativity, intelligence or character. Only one characteristic matters…

Are you sexy?

I’ve ranted about this subject in Halloweens past, and this year I’ve noticed others chiming in with the same complaint: the Top 10 Too-Sexy Costumes for Kids, 9 Reasons to Boycott Slutty Costumes This Halloween, or NBC News asking how far is too far with sexy? Anyone perusing through a costume store this Halloween can’t ignore it. Halloween has morphed into the slutty holiday.

The fact is, manufacturers know sex sells. We’ve seen Miley work it, and experts tell us she’s a marketing genius for doing so. So why shouldn’t our teen and tween girls try on what all their female role models are wearing?

So what are they wearing?

Take a peek for yourselves. Just do an internet search for costumes. I just received an add for costumes for Party City. Jump on PartyCity.com and take a peek at what they have to offer. If you click on the most popular costumes for women, you’ll see options like these:

What about teen girls. Choose teen costumes, and you’ll see options like these:

So how do we talk with our kids about this?

First, don’t freak out. Sometimes parents tend to overreact, rant and lecture. Kids hate all three.

So instead of a long monologue, try to engage your kids in a dialogue about the subject. A dialogue is two way communication, more effective when we’re doing more listening than talking.

If we can engage our kids in dialogue, then this will open doors to frequent conversations where we can point to the truth. Just like author David R. Smith wrote in his recent article, Messing Up Sex, “Have the talk over and over and over again.” David isn’t alone in his recommendation. Most experts agree what used to be labeled “the talk” needs to be early and often. And some studies even show Dad’s advice to be key.

So sit down this Halloween and thumb through the catalogue with your girls. Have conversations like the ones recommended here. Affirm our girls with the facts: sex isn’t bad or naughty… but it also isn’t our identity.

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SHOULD I JUST SMASH MY KID’S PHONE?