Enough, already!

One of the big warning signs that I’m getting more depressed is irrationality. That, and its sister irritability. Just when I need all my wits about me to fight off sinking into a mental miasma of misery and self-loathing, I become paralyzed by these twins that do nothing for me and end up making things worse.

So, today’s writing is being conducted at my local bread/pastry/coffee shop. Because… spider.

I was already at the end of my tether earlier in the day. I managed to fight off being too infuriated by idiots on Fakebook who decided that, even though they have nothing in the way of credentials, actual experiences, or positive thoughts to contribute, felt the need to say that mental health medications just create the symptoms they are designed to alleviate, and what’s more, it’s all a big conspiracy on the part of “big pharma” to keep people enslaved. I was able to keep my reactions to such nonsense down to some eye rolling and a personal status update. For me, this is a huge victory. (I’m talking on the level surely to be mentioned by Christ and the Saints in Heaven.)

Apparently, it wasn’t without cost. Today, I’ve been edgy and disconcerted. (Maybe that’s not too abnormal. Still…) I had discovered that, while I was out of town, an influx of teensy ants had taken over the houseplants in the kitchen. (Except for the potted chives. Ants don’t like chives? Who knew?) Because the kitchen has been neater than a pin for days and days, it’s clear that they exhausted whatever stray crumbs they could find and decided to set up a mini antlette daycare or something in the dieffenbachia and arrowhead vines while I was out of town. For some reason that remains unknown to humanity, they also skipped the spiderwort. (This plant is also known as a wandering Jew. So maybe, in the ant world, there’s a lot of antisemitism?Another moment of nature’s weirdness.) I decided to set everything on the back step. Because what could happen back there?

After cleaning the counter, I looked out back. Every plant had blown over in the wind. Dirt everywhere. Not. Going. To. Cry. Nope.

I cleaned everything up, although I was seriously tempted to just toss every single one in the trash can. I was good. I reminded myself that I’m never happy with the results of impulsive decisions, and went about my business in the kitchen.

After the last bit of cleaning, I decided to have a bowl of cereal. I’ve discovered that cereal is one good way of satisfying my sweet tooth while maintaining the illusion of being quasi-healthful. The cereal is way above my head, above the stove. (Yes, I know this isn’t safe. Having a brain chemistry disorder isn’t the same thing as having a brain that is missing. Derp.) Take a gander at the picture at the top of the article. The red circle is drawn partly around the bag of cereal. The part that is to the left is where the spider jumped out. Now, I’m really, really, really glad I only reached above the stove, and wasn’t on a step-stool.

That was enough. I got my purse and computer and left. I was actually quite happy with the result of this impulsive decision, which was a luscious cherry pastry making its way into my belly.

Now I’m looking for a vacuum cleaner. To eradicate the monster.