November 18, 2013

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November 17, 2013

I’ve come downstairs to curl up on the couch. I can’t sleep upstairs in my bedroom anymore tonight. Every time I drift down towards dreamland, a crash from that big bush outside the front window snaps me upright. In a sense of almost unparalleled terror, I called the police at 3:45 and they came by to check things out. No, no one was skulking around. Of course not. That was just over two hours ago. I haven’t gone back to... Read more

November 16, 2013

This is about where I am right now. I’m still learning how to manage this blog from a computer that is not my own. I’ve given up on about sixteen different posts, because I couldn’t get them to do what I want. The layout is wrong (because I can’t use the program I want to make it right, which ran from my laptop). I can’t find the picture I want (because it was stored on my laptop). I had started... Read more

November 11, 2013

Because someone broke into my house and stole my laptop. With all my writing. And pictures. The DVD player is missing, too, but I don’t care about that. Because it’s not about the object. It’s about the contents. Hitting the pawn shops tomorrow. Hoping for the best. Hope wasn’t on the hard drive. It’s on the heart drive. Read more

November 1, 2013

“Are you okay?” I had fallen in the icy parking lot outside the bookstore. He came to help. Such is grace. The unmerited favor bestowed, and then accepted. Humbly. “Oh, I’m fine. Thank you. Guess I didn’t realize how icy it was.” “You went down fast. I’m sorry I wasn’t closer.” He looked over to his friend, who was still twenty feet away. “You’re not even wearing a coat!” “Oh, I just came out to get something from the car.... Read more

October 28, 2013

Some times it’s easier than other times. Sometimes it’s just hard. I remember the first time I saw one of these. I was nine or ten, and visiting the neighbor lady’s house. She had it lying on her kitchen table, and I asked her what it was. “Well, what does it say?” “’Here is your round tuit.’ What’s a tuit?” ”Read it again.” ”Ohhhh… I see!” I think that was the first time I understood what a “play on words”... Read more

October 25, 2013

I thought it was what I wanted. To be together. I wanted to be with someone. So badly. I guess I didn’t care who it was. And it wasn’t a bad relationship. It just wasn’t the right relationship. So it’s over. And that’s not bad. In fact, it’s much better. So much better that I was tempted to stay. No. So, I’m moving on, and moving out. And moving. Because there’s no point in being together if you’re not really... Read more

October 24, 2013

This is what happens when you throw your lot in with a madman. This is what happens when you give yourself away to an idea that is not ready to be born, barely formed enough to be recognizable as a coherent thought. This is what happens when you’re lying on the ground in a dirty dress, with your hair falling in your face and your breath knocked out of you so that you’re gasping. Gasping. And grasping. Grasping at the... Read more

October 20, 2013

I’m longing for normal days again. Making meals, doing laundry, sweeping floors. Too much ecstasy is almost as bad as not enough. Almost… Read more

October 11, 2013

What could be more boring? That’s the first thing I think of when I think of “ordinary.” Ho-hum, routine, nondescript, boring, normal (though that’s a bit more reasonable), For me, things that are ordinary lack pizzazz. They lack the excitement that makes things that are out of the ordinary interesting. I don’t want my life to be ordinary. I want my life to be different, exciting, But I also don’t want to be some kind of drama queen, for whom... Read more


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