My mouth is full of ashes. I’m choking on dust. I can’t breathe any more… You, there. Yes, you, God. Up in the sky, in my heart, whatever. I’m mad at You. You already knew that. I know that much. I’m not dumb. I never said You didn’t give me gifts, I’m just saying I can’t use them. It never works out. I’m always caught in the starting gate, left out in the cold, stuck on base and never crossing... Read more
I am (by nature, inclination, and probably habit) indecisive. I’m better about making choices when given parameters. I was the kind of girl in high school who relished the creative writing projects that had specific outlines, even if the outlines were, in and of themselves, vague. “Write a Shakespearean Sonnet” was a no-brainer, even though I could write about anything. Likewise with dictums such as, “Write about your favorite breakfast,” since the form was deliberately vague. (I uprooted myself to... Read more
After the second bottle of wine, His Holiness really loosens up. He kicks off his red loafers (yes, loafers) and slips off his zucchetto. Another glass or two and it gets easier to see that he’s just another white-haired old man, frustrated with the way the world has changed since he was a boy. Certainly many good changes, to be sure, but “the young people, nowadays…” I nod sagely. The table talk almost instantly quiets down, as it usually does... Read more
My life isn’t turning out in any way like I expected, and, while I am sorely tempted, I can honestly blame no one but myself. Some people (even me, on a good day) find that empowering. I just find it depressing. Guess it’s not a good day. Sorry. Read more
I’ve had about enough. Ideas, that is. I’ve probably started, started to start, and started thinking about starting seven or eight articles in the past day. I’m exhausted. Read more
Because I said so, that’s why. After a weekend out of town, I was all prepared to be a veritable font of creativity this morning. Until the sneezing set in, that is. My allergies have no seeming rhyme or reason and I have this admittedly quirky idea that once I go to a doctor I’ll have admitted that whatever is making me sneeze exerts a real power over me. (As if being virtually confined to my bed and/or fearful I’ll... Read more
Because I said so, that’s why. After a weekend out of town, I was all prepared to be a veritable font of creativity this morning. Until the sneezing set in, that is. My allergies have no seeming rhyme or reason and I have this admittedly quirky idea that once I go to a doctor I’ll have admitted that whatever is making me sneeze exerts a real power over me. (As if being virtually confined to my bed and/or fearful I’ll... Read more
I’m so excited about doing this. I can’t do this. I have to do this. I don’t want to do this. I guess I’ll do this. Excuse me while I throw up in my purse. Stage fright is, ultimately, a kind of narcissism. (And if you’re thinking of navigating away from this post because you’re not a stage performer, you’d be wrong, because stage fright can affect everyone, even if the only stage you’re on is in a metaphorical one... Read more
Where did the day go? I never procrastinated about writing or anything else today, but here it is already after 9:30 in the evening and I haven’t done a thing all day. Well, I guess some days are just going to be like that, so you’ll have to hang with me. Read more
In a bit of a different twist, I’m lying here in bed, listening to Paul breathe. I can’t believe he’s not awake yet; it’s almost 9:45. I’ve been up since before 8:00, having attended to a critical phone call that I was equally surprised and delighted to have received. Surprised because it’s New Year’s Eve, and so many places are closed. Delighted because it wasn’t nearly as unpleasant as I had expected and now it’s behind me. Herein lies one... Read more
After the Ecstasy, the Laundry...
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