Get thee to a nunnery . . . . The difference between myself and a Catholic Nun
This is a topic that is often talked about in the Heathen community but rarely spoken of outside of those that are directly heathen. The term is called God-Spousing. This is a term that is heavily mocked outside of the pagan community and heavily misused among those that think they know what it means. To men and women that are truly devoted on such a level to their god as to pledge their bodies, hearts, and souls to them. My humblest respect, I can empathize with you. To those that don’t understand what it is like or believe the hype that we are all married to Loki and doing this for our own pleasure please let me educate from my personal experience.
My world and life revolve around my deity. At the age of 18 after studying Wicca for two years I did my self-dedication, but instead of dedicating to a Goddess like it told me to in the book I dedicated to a God. I wanted to be controversial even in being a rebel. At first, I thought it was a horned god with glowing red hair. Then I realized the horns were just antlers in the shape of a crown. I always woke up every morning and greeted him, before I fall asleep every night I say goodnight. I speak with him constantly throughout every single day. For 17 years now, I have not spent a moment away from him.
There is never a single moment where I am not connected with him in some way. The relationship has great benefits and terrible downfalls. Here are the perks of being a God-Spouse. Lots of protection, when I’m out at an event I don’t have to worry about things, he has my back. When I work ritual either publicly or privately he knows if I slip or say the wrong thing how to correct and make sure my intention stays true. He will guide and steady my hand when I need it. Backlash, while it can be fearsome can also be gentled if he thinks that I have learned my lesson.
As for the downfalls, when I stray from my path, the consequences are fast and treacherous. They can sometimes be impossible to handle. I have been ripped up inside, destroyed with pain, hit rock bottom multiple times. There are many things that need to be said when your Spouse is a God. You are expected to behave and act a certain way. You are expected to reach a certain level, and you cannot stray or stop your course and choose an easier path. You can ask for a short reprieve if things are not going well and you need a chance to just clear your head, but if you don’t get it you cannot whine about it. With my particular God I am also not allowed to own an umbrella.
For me personally, every single day is a struggle between my worship, my devotion, my love, my wife, my God, my Husband, my family, and my temple. Every moment needs to be planned and used. Just as a Catholic Nun who is a bride to Christ needs to do, especially on that is living in a convent. She has every moment planned from sun up to sun down. Adding new things into her schedule will be difficult for her. It makes my life difficult.
There are people out there that say that they are God-Spoused and say things like “oh I really should spend more time.” I really think they need to evaluate if they are God-Spoused or if they are just devoted or being courted by the God. There are differences in all levels. You can be many things to a God, but God-Spouse is hard to obtain, and if you don’t maintain it your life falls apart very quickly. However, it is not my place to judge them it is my place to help them get on the correct path again with their practices. That is what is good for the community, therefor that is what is good for my God and that is what is good for my spirit.
There are different levels to everything that everyone does. You can be a devotee, a dedicant, a god-spouse, or an affiliate. You can have the revolving door of Gods and Goddess or you can work with a pantheon. When you are Viking, what matters is that you work with them to build your community, and don’t disable others that do what they do, you help them along their path. We are judged so harshly by everyone else around us, why do we make it so hard for us to stand united?