Why Can’t I Read For Other People?
As the owner of a metaphysical shop, it seems to be part and parcel for me to provide “psychic” readings, right? I’m proficient in several different forms of divination and like so many others like me, should be able to easily integrate this service into my business. So why haven’t I started doing it yet? Well, I gave it a try, and very quickly discovered that I’m up against something completely unexpected: reading for other people makes me incredibly uncomfortable.
It’s taken a long time for me to really face this and give it some head space, because it’s worth investigating and learning from. Any time someone asks me to perform a reading for them, even remotely via the internet, I feel a wall slam down and my intuition yells “Nope!” before I even entertain the idea. It’s a knee-jerk reaction like ducking when someone throws a snowball at your head. Lately I’ve been trying to figure out what exactly is the problem, because the truth is, I’d like to read for others. I think it would be a great addition to my business and it would connect me with likeminded people. I believe that every meaningful interaction we have with other humans is a learning experience and guides us in some way, even when we’re the one holding the tarot cards.
Here’s the thing. Whenever I try, or even think about reading for others, I feel an immediate drain on myself. It’s hard to describe. It’s almost physical, like air being let out of a balloon from a tiny pinhole, only the balloon is me. My emotions, my soul, my aura, my energy starts to leak out and leave me exhausted and deflated.
I figured out that this emotional door-slam reaction regarding readings is a form of protecting myself and my energy from other people.
That’s not to say that everyone is some kind of energy vampire and I’m just so darn special that others want to nefariously suck out my life force. Not at all. In fact, it says a lot more about me than it does the people who innocently ask for a reading.
This feeling of energy draining is common for many people who are empathetic, sensitive, or introverted (all of the above for me!). What I realized was that not only was this problem interfering with my ability to provide readings for people, but it was something I experienced every day in my ordinary life. If just making small talk with other people at school pick up had the power to suck me dry, the very idea of opening myself up to the needs of a stranger in an intimate reading was downright terrifying.
So then I had to ask myself, am I too weak to be a reader? Is my sensitive personality yet again stopping me from doing things I want to do, the way it has so many times in my daily life? No. The more I meditate on it, the more I think it’s this very trait, this empathy and feeling the spirit inside of other people, that is exactly the thing that will one day make me an excellent reader… if only I can overcome it, and learn how to control it. It’s a double edged sword. The very thing that would make me an excellent reader is the same thing that is stopping me from doing so.
I’ve been reading a lot about shielding, practicing grounding meditations, and slowly figuring out ways to protect my energy from being overly affected by other people while still being able to connect with them. I think if I start small and give myself time to learn and try different shielding techniques, I’ll one day be strong enough to handle doing readings for others.
I have gone to psychic fairs many times, and my main takeaway inevitably was “Wow, those readers/mediums/healers must be so exhausted from 3 days of other peoples’ vibes inside of them.” I may not be able to do any marathon events like that ever in my life, but I’m going to start small and see what happens. Wish me luck.