Day-to-day routine can make life blurry. Life is moving at such a fast pace that it’s sometimes hard to stop the dizzying tilt-a-whirl moments. Since winter hibernated, in the evening I have a ritual of sitting on my back deck overlooking my pond and woods and talking to God/angels/my loved one’s on the other side. The other day I felt extra heavy, needing a connection to nature.
Have you ever noticed life themes? When constant “coincidences” appear in your life, it’s a wake-up call to stop and listen. The other day I had one of those odd days filled with coincidences. Saturday morning Chuck woke up me up with severe jaw pain. After calls out to his team, we headed to the emergency room. As I waited for him to return from his CT Scan, a patient peeked in the room and asked me – “Excuse me, have you found Jesus?” Before I could even comprehend or answer, the patient’s wife apologized and led him back to his room.
“That’s odd,” I thought, and dismissed it. But then I came home from the emergency room (we still have no answers on what is causing Chuck’s issue – he’s on steroids, antibiotics, and pain killers), turned on my computer to go through my work emails and there was this email: Kristy – I have been a long-time client of yours, but I want you to take me off your newsletter list and unfriend me on all social media because I believe you are doing Satan’s work. You see, I’ve found Jesus. I don’t agree with your path and I ask for you to find Jesus too. -Barbara (not real name)
Not completely weird for me. I get many of emails a year judging me for my work. I used to defend myself. Now I send them good energy and hit delete. But two references in a couple hours caught my attention. The third one came an hour after by text. “Kristy, I have a reading with you next month. I was telling my friend about it and she told me if I went through with it that I’d go to hell. So I wanted to ask you if you thought I’d go to hell, but then I wondered if you’d tell me the truth because if you are doing Satan’s work then Satan would tell you to tell me that it is okay to have a session. So I guess I need to cancel. Have you found Jesus, Kristy?”
Can’t ignore the message now, right?
Many know I went to parochial school from Kindergarten until high school graduation. My parents weren’t very religious when raising my siblings, but then they became religious. And then when my mom lost her brothers, mom, and dad and then had horrible health issues, she became bitter towards religion and God. I remember her in the hospital, days before she passed, I had a book of devotions and I wanted to share it with her. I asked her permission to read to her and she furiously shook her head no at me. Tears still spring to my eyes in that memory because I wanted to share with her what heaven was like. I wanted her to feel her loved one’s greeting her. I wanted her to feel at peace. She refused. I called our local minister to come see her. He never called me back. I called another, and he said because she hadn’t been to church in a long time he wouldn’t come. When she passed away, I called yet another minister to perform her funeral and he gave me the song and dance – she hadn’t participated in church and he had no time to help give her a last goodbye. I could see why she was so angry. I wanted to be angry, but as I sat in the chapel of the funeral home, I felt a loving light of energy surround me. I was just beginning to professionally do sessions and grief coaching in non-anonymous way. Was it Jesus, or God, or angels, or maybe it was mom – whatever it was it made me feel closer to my own faith – a faith not marked by a distinct religious name. It wasn’t Catholic or Lutheran or Jewish. It was just faith. It was a connection.
It was hot out last night as I sat on the deck, but there was a breeze that made it refreshing. Other than birds chirping and the hum of the air conditioner, it was oddly quiet. The sun shone hot against the cattails. There was an eerie sadness, a loneliness. Normally I would hear the constant of boat motors, music from the neighbor’s house, and kids splashing in their pool. That evening it was oddly still. So still that my mind couldn’t wander away from making a connection.
And I talked to the other side, which is what I think my reminder was. I sent love and asked that love cascade around all who needed it. I asked that it be given to those in the way that fed their own faith whatever that means to each individua person. Some may find their faith through Jesus, others the Bible, some through an oak tree, a feeling, a word from a stranger, a butterfly or bird, a dream, or whatever means that show and spread love. Whatever is going on in your life right now I hope you can find faith, hope, and love. I hope you can set your stress and worries down to find the blessings that happen every day.
Saturday as I sat next to Chuck’s hospital bed, I held back my tears. Life is precious. Time is short. Time with grudges is wasted time. I scrolled through social media only to see so many arguments and so much hate, snarkiness, and a lot of lack of respect. I watched a wife give a kiss to her husband who was being taken for emergency surgery. I ached to give her a hug. I ached to get a hug. Our journey on this earth is relatively short. How do you want to spend it? Is the battle of ugly worth it? Sometimes we don’t get the meaning of life until we are personally affected. I’m rooting for kindness over conflict. I’m rooting for all of you.
I believe in you,
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