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Freedom is Overrated

Freedom is Overrated August 23, 2021

This isn’t a “free” country. Nor should it be. Nor do you want it to be. Trust me, I’ve been thinking about a lot of so-called freedoms that I guarantee no rationale person would actually want.

But still, plenty of conservative American snowflakes are all whining about how their freedoms are being taken away because they have to place a thin piece of fabric over their faces. You know, because, in spite of the fact that millions of humans have died from a crippling pandemic, freedom . . . or something.

But freedom, in any universal sense, isn’t worth having. And if you really think about it, it is something we’ve never had. Here’s 10 things we aren’t free to do. Nor should we be.


I. Freedom to Expose Yourself

You don’t like wearing a mask in public places during a pandemic? Well, I don’t like wearing underwear . . . ever. Does that mean I should be able to pull my dick out at the mall without repercussions? The logic of some anti-maskers would suggest so.

II. Freedom to Drive Drunk

Driving drunk puts others at risk. So does not wearing a mask indoors in public places. But with the logic of anti-maskers, you’d think they would be cool with drunk driving. But they’re not because they aren’t consistent thinkers.

III. Freedom to Litter

Americans love littering. Just look at the shoulders of our highways. But it is a crime. It’s also your freedom to toss your trash out the windows of your moving cars. Obviously. Again, just look at our roads. Is this really what we want though? I don’t.

IV. Freedom to Commit Libel

Making stuff up and telling others about it is what Americans do. Just look at the Facebook pages of all anti-maskers. They are chock-full of invented information. But what if we make up libelous information about others? We should be free to do so, right?  I mean, the First Amendment!!! Um, no. Not cool.

V. Freedom to Override Someone Else’s Freedom

Anti-maskers love their personal freedoms. What they don’t understand is that private businesses have the same freedoms they have. So, if they don’t have to wear a mask, private businesses don’t have to serve them. Remember the baker that wouldn’t bake a gay cake? Yeah, let’s apply the same logic here 😉 Also, how have people been okay with “no shirt, no shoes, no service,” but if you add masks during a pandemic, it becomes a problem?

VI. Freedom to Yell “Fire” in a Theater

You shouldn’t be able to yell “fire” in a crowded theater. It can cause mayhem and panic. Apply the same logic to masks and voila! This isn’t rocket science.

VII. Freedom to Smoke in a Restaurant

Nothing is better than a cigarette after a nice meal, right? So, why can’t you smoke one after your steak dinner? You can, just not in the restaurant. But with your anti-mask logic, shouldn’t you be able to? This is America, not some communist hellhole!!!

VIII. Freedom to Fart in People’s Faces

Farts don’t harm people. They aren’t violent. They don’t restrict people’s movement. So, how about we just start making it permissible to fart in people’s faces. I mean, you want freedoms, right? Let’s start here.

IX. Freedom to Not Register Your Vehicle

I don’t want to pay my DMV fees. I shouldn’t have to register my vehicle. My car, my choice. Only wait, that’s not how that works. Nor is it what any of the anti-maskers have argued. And yet, here we are.

X. Freedom to be as Loud as You Want

Want to walk around with a boombox on your shoulder? Do it. Want to carry a bullhorn around town? Do it. Want to drive a car with the loudest tailpipe known to man? Do it. Want to blow your dog whistle near everyone’s dogs? Do it. Actually, don’t. It’s technically freedom, but again, freedom is overrated.


Disagree with me here? You are free to do so. And I am free to not care. I’m also free to not accept your comment below. So be kind, or I’ll exercise my inhibited freedom on you.


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About Matthew Distefano
Matthew J. Distefano is the author of many books, a cohost of Heretic Happy Hour, and a long-time social worker. He is married, with one daughter, and lives in Northern California. You can read more about the author here.
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