Nine Lessons for New Converts/Reverts to Islam

2. No matter how much you explain, they still may not get it

Sometimes we think that if we just explained to our family members what Islam is and why its right or why it doesn’t oppress women and why it isn’t about terrorism, our family members will suddenly have a light bulb moment and say “You know what, that does make perfect sense!  I’m not upset anymore!”  Don’t be surprised if it seems to go through one ear and out the other.  The truth is they are hearing what you’re saying and cataloging it, but they are too emotional to focus on it right now.

Over time you will begin to have thoughtful, rational conversations with family and friends, but it’s not something that’s going to happen right away in many cases.  Even if your family doesn’t have a problem with Islam, or Muslims, they have a problem with you becoming one.  You were as American as apple pie; they watched you unwrap Christmas presents under the tree every year, and dreamed of your white wedding.  There is a sense of loss that they are trying to cope with.

Don’t expect to rationalize with them much at first (unless they ask questions—and even then, don’t expect too much) and don’t be disheartened.

Next: Being Good and Being Religious Sometimes Aren’t the Same