Oh what sweet relief today brings.
‘Tis an end, and what joy comes with ends. If only it were the end of my time apart from Ana, my lovely Ana. Or even the end of my life in the bardo between student and professor.
Yet, alas, any Buddhist knows that there are no true ends, nor true beginnings. This semester started long, long ago and will live on in the lives of everyone effected.
And, of course, anyone who knows me knows that ‘end’ is a relative term. For, wherever ‘incomplete’ may be appended, even the apparent reality of ‘end’ is weakened.
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I had my wisdom tooth surgery today at noon. Heart monitor sticky-pads were the worst of it. Tearing them from my (hairy Irishman) chest this afternoon made me appreciate the pain women are put through every time they wax. The doctor was great though. I have no swelling, no tingling lips (a common effect from severing the nerve next to the roots of the teeth – I was warned this could last for weeks or months as the nerve regenerates). By five tonight I was well rested and chatting on the phone with friends and family (with the help of a couple loratabs).
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One of the many wise things my advisor in England told me was that we in our modern society have lost our sense of gratitude. He’s right, and I’ve tried since then to contemplate gratitude and make it more a part of my life. Today, however, I was again very humbled by a beautiful display of gratitude on the part of many of my students. After the two-hour (8-10am) final, several of them went out of their way to thank me for the course. Some brought gifts.
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Now. Now I have to grade extra credit assignments and think long and hard about ‘completing’ that incomplete (and another one from last Spring). I also have to prepare for Intro to Tibetan Buddhism, which I’m teaching in the Spring (and for which I am extremely excited!) and maybe for some of the classes I’m taking. So, with some thought, what comes to mind is, ‘it never ends.’
Oh well. I’m slowly coming to realize that and to find joy in the process of it all.