The Three Marks of Existence in Life

The Buddha’s teachings were never meant to be ‘merely’ academic. That said, some of it is pretty heady and an academic approach can be very rewarding. In a short retreat this winter here in Montana, Anam Thubten Rinpoche told the story of studying in France and wishing to visit the city of Pisa in Italy. A friend offered to drive him and off they went. Cruising through the French and then Italian country-side, they passed many cities and after passing one that had a suspicious looking leaning tower, Anam Thubten asked the driver, “do you know how much further to Pisa?” The driver, taking a moment, said, “I think that was it.”

The moral of the story is that we need maps and we would do well to study them. The Buddha’s teachings literally point us to a magga, a path. The path, the Dhamma/Dharma, is eternal and does not depend on the Buddha or Buddhism to exist. But the guidance, the map, so to speak, is the Buddha’s many teachings.

Sometimes we make that same mistake and just dive in to the experience of meditation or ritual or what have you without understanding (or perhaps even reading) the teachings. Too often what then follows is incomprehensible. Experience flows, but it is not understood. Beneficial states are not distinguished from the harmful.

And so it is with the three marks of existence: impermanence, non-self, and unsatisfactoriness. Understanding these first in a ‘worldly’ way is the foundation for understanding them in the super-mundane or ‘noble’ manner that they must finally be known. The first is academic. The second is via experience.

Having put in the time on the academic side, I’m fortunate to be able to ‘watch’ some of life through awareness of the three marks. Change has been almost ubiquitous around here lately. In three weeks I’ll be in L.A., then Taiwan, then back, then London, then finally India for four months. After that? Who knows. In the midst of that, my daily routine has become maddeningly busy. Everyone I know who has been to India is coming out of the woodwork to share stories and give advice. Old friends who I have neglected as a friend for much too long are suddenly wanting to hang out more. My parents are wanting to see me nearly every free weekend I have; and the holidays add weight to their ‘you should visit’ requests.

In the midst of the excitement and activity is the pervasive hint of unsatisfactoriness. The ‘high’ of opportunity and travels is tinged with a bit of my already missing Montana. So I practice non-clinging to it all. People are in flux. Relationships, jobs, friends, etc. Just when I thought most of my dearest friends were out of Missoula, a few long, long time friends here began calling again. Turns out they were busy. I was busy. Bad conditions for an active friendship. But the seeds (of friendship) were there and now the conditions are apparently right again.

People often think that being a practiced Buddhist means you should be able to handle any circumstances with a smile. That’s total B.S. if you ask me. The smart Buddhist, or anyone for that matter, is the one who cultivates the conditions for beneficial circumstances – all the time. When I wanted to hang out with friends but realized that they were all either too far away or too busy, I was bummed. Now the pendulum has swung to the opposite extreme. Change.

And the last of the three marks here, non-self, becomes evident as I settle in to the flow of all of this. Not the hippy “go with the flow, man” way, but the “accept change as it comes, with awareness” way. Taking responsibility for the good – having worked hard and getting a job in India is pretty good; and the bad – I neglected many friendships in my busyness and suffered the consequences when I was back looking to hang out. And at the same time not focusing so much on the “I” as to lose sight of the flowing external factors: friends and colleagues advising and encouraging me toward the job, countless mentors along the way, my friends’ own busyness. Seeing all ‘that’ it’s foolish to take complete responsibility or give it away. Seeing more deeply into the situation, each of my own actions were influenced and directed by others; none came from some magical, self-existing “I/Me.” Self-view is weakened.

Yes it seems a bit paradoxical: taking responsibility and discussing actions of my’self’ and others when there is no “self” at the core of any actions. Kind of like the dissatisfaction with being so happy. Ha. Go sit with it.

As an aside, I’ve just been invited to see a movie tomorrow night. The trailer begins with this line:

“People say you have to travel to see the world. Sometimes I think that if you just stay in one place and keep your eyes open, you’re gonna see just about all that you can handle.”

I love it. Know the film?