Unanswered Prayers

We sat in silence, as the head pastor stood next to one of our churches elders.

Ed, was in his mid to early 60’s. Had a wife, 4 kids, 2 recently born grand children, he had in the last month been diagnosed with terminal cancer. The doctors were giving him 6 months, at best.

After praying for Ed, he spoke to us…

I’m not sure all that he said, but I do remember him still being in shock, stammering over his words, holding back tears… The weight of the emotion in the room was more than I had ever felt, the reality of our mortality was presented to me when Ed said six words I’ll never forget… He said:

“I’m not, yet, ready to go…”

I was only an intern, 21 years old, young, full of life, but overall naive.

“I think twenty somethings are arrogant because life has yet to have enough time to beat it out of them…”

We prayed and prayed throughout this summer, we layed hands on Ed, we had house visits, we sent out emails, we even would have set up a kickstarter, if it was around then…

I knew God was going to heal Ed.

He had family, children, a wife…

He had thousands, literally thousands, praying for him.

Above all else, he was a Christian…

God knew all of this.

God heard all of our prayers.

God saw, and felt the weight of Ed’s cry for mercy.

If God is love, and his love is sovereign, and his sovereignty has dominion overall, God will heal. Right?

I still don’t understand to this day – I don’t think I ever will understand. Before the summer had come to an end – Ed passed away…

Since then – I have seen more than enough instances such as this…

Friends dealing with paralyzing amounts of depression.

Family battling with overwhelming amounts of anxiety.

Congregants, acquaintances, people dying of cancer.

Many of us have or are dealing with something in which we didn’t ask for or want, but it’s been given to us, it’s been handed to us, and we’ve asked God to take it, to heal or reconcile the differences of it.

And, in response many times it feels as if we get, nothing…

Silence.

Unanswered prayers.

So then what is our response? What then do we do? After seeking wise council, after pleading with God, after going to the bible…

… We wait.

I hate this answer. I more so hate it when I am in a time of turmoil or hurt… Because I don’t want to wait, I want instant gratification. I want, what I want right now.

I think in light of death, depression, cancer, inequality, world hunger, and children suffering because of simple things such as a lack of basic needs, when God asks us to wait, he’s asking us to trust… to have faith… to hope.

To trust there will be a day, with no more tears.

To have faith this life is temporary, but our future is eternal.

To hope that the Kingdom will come…

I can’t reconcile the problem of pain, with a ever present, all knowing God, who’s love is sovereign.