Christianity & Sex

Christianity & Sex June 17, 2013

As Christians, I think at times, we do a great job of missing the point.

Especially when we talk about sex.

The rest of this post is pretty blunt, so if that bothers you, you may want to stop reading here…

Some of you might be surprised, who have not grown up in the Church, but there are some Christians who will have anal sex so that they avoid having vaginal sex, because vaginal sex is a sin.

Anyone who has been on campus at a Christian college with an “open door policy” (any time there’s someone of the opposite sex in the room the door must be open) can attest to the fact that Christian’s love dry humping, but nothing further. Because anything further is a sin, and in some weird roundabout way they’re tricking God, beating the system, all the while still being able to keep their salvation in tact. But, once that gets old, and we’ve moved off campus, and there’s less accountability, anal sex is the obvious next step (sarcasm).

“Christian community is the biggest dry humping community I’ve ever seen in my life!” – Pete Holmes (graduate of Gordon College, surprisingly no longer Christian [sarcasm, again])

Excuse my blunt force acknowledgement of stuff Christians do to avoid from “sinning” and remain saved, but, I bring this up because I don’t feel like many other Christians are openly talking about this. I mean – this stuff is really happening, and as a result it becomes this:

“How far can we go and yet still be saved?”


“How can I trick God, beat His system, and yet still remain in His love?”

Either way, we are missing the entire point. All the while, turning God into this authoritarian figure who wants us to live these joyless lives, all about rules, laws, and do’s and don’ts.

As if something that we do has the power to take away what he’s already done? I’ll say something that makes many angry, if not already…

But, I’m pretty sure you can have sex before marriage, and GOD WILL STILL LOVE YOU

It’s this “fear-driven” gospel, that is terrifying us into submission and obedience, we must understand that we don’t refrain from these things so that God will love us, we refrain from these things because God already loves us, and with the knowledge that even if we don’t refrain from them we are still yet loved.

God is not a God that is just waiting for you to mess up so that He can crush you. He’s not a monster. He’s not this authoritarian abusive man.

God. Is. Love. and this God, loves you…




I know I’ve said this similarly in the past, but I’m going to continue to say this over and over and over again…

If you choose to have sex before marriage, if you drink to the point of which you’re drunk, if you curse or say the word “fuck”. You might not be loved or accepted by ‘christians’, but I’m 100% sure you’ll still be loved and accepted by Jesus. 

Stop focusing so much on sin and sin avoidance and ask, “What would our lives look like if we focused on love and grace? What would happen If we took up the attitude of an advocate?”

Jesus said he came to give us life. Rich, beautiful, generous life.

What would happen if we actually believe that?

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