Giving Up On God

Giving Up On God August 9, 2013

I threw the towel in this summer…

I quit. I had had enough of God. It’s not that I didn’t believe God was real, or that I questioned whether or not He existed. In fact I still believed Jesus was God, the only God.

It’s not that I stopped believing I just wanted to stop following

I personally just questioned whether or not this God, cared for me, heard me, saw me, knew more than the number of hairs on my head, but knew my issues and problems and need for an intimate personal relationship with Him.

That was just the thing, with God it no longer felt intimate, or

personal. God felt distant.His love felt cold, and His touch seemed inexistent.

I didn’t doubt whether or not God understood, I simply doubted that God even cared.

I had given up everything.





I found myself sitting at the foot of the cross asking, wondering, pleading, crying out for God to save me… wondering if he left me.

I was reminded of Jeremiah, of the Apostle Paul, of Peter who all left everything to suffer for the sake of the gospel.

I was reminded of the scriptures where Jesus tells his followers that when they choose to give up everything and follow him, there will be suffering and persecution, and that there won’t be this “peace” in fact he says that he came to bring a sword instead, and there will be division…

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” (1 Peter 4:12, NIV)

Now don’t hear me translating these words into saying we must seek conflict, and suffering, but I’m simply acknowledging that when we seek Jesus we’ll naturally encounter conflict, division, and suffering.

In fact I’d go so far as to say that if you’ve been a Christian for an elongated period of time and have yet to face suffering, you should take a step back and re-evaluate your relationship with God and ask whether or not you’re truly following Him.

Even when you’re doing things that are right, people are going to come after you. This has always been the case, whether it’s been Martin Luther King Jr, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Nelson Mandela, the Apostle Paul, to even Jesus Christ Himself.

The more you stand for your convictions, the less you’ll be liked and received, and the more you’ll be disliked and rejected.

I guess what I’m saying is, this is the cost of discipleship. I’m not throwing the towel in on God, I just need to continue to cry out for more of God. Continue to seek. Whether or not he removes this thorn in my flesh, whether or not I continue to lose friends, family, or jobs. I’m going to stand firm in my convictions.

But that’s the thing – though following Jesus is simple, it’s not easy. Suffering is an inevitability. It may feel at times as if we’re blind people, one day hearing a voice that compels us to go on a hike, unaware that this is not a hike, but rather a trek, a trek up Everest. So we follow this voice. Sometimes we hear Him, other times we don’t. We simply have to trust he’s there.

How about you guys have you ever given up on God?

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  • Great post! I choose Jesus not religion and other’s expectations of me :)

  • Gordon

    I gave up god when i was 13. I have a happy childhood, a nice remembrance
    of church life. One day,it made no sense. I asked. No good answers, anywhere. I tried my hardest to achieve a balance of what was provable and what I desired. I tried most substances and many practices. My conclusion is that god us unprovable and unknowable. My opinion is that there is no god. I am still compassionate and still practice mediation, there is human sprit. If the belief in god helps you become a more compassionate and helpful person, I have no problem. If the belief in god helps you create inquisitions, fly planes into buildings, creates intolerance, well then I start having a problem with it. I say READ!!!!!, start practicing something that pushes your physical, mental and emotional state (rock climbing, hang gliding, knitting etc.) anything to get out of your head and into the present, sit and count your breaths while doing dishes. be in the present, it is all we have. dont fret about getting old, some do not get the chance. you will die. we all die. we go back to where we came from. we are not alone, we all get to experience this.

  • Wow – Thanks for sharing Gordon, I appreciate your vulnerability. I personally have had a kinda opposite experience, in the sense that when I was 13 I just knew there was God. I seriously tried SO hard to be an atheist (mainly because of the travesty’s you listed) but for me it was just the absurdity of our current life and existence that made me think and believe in an after life and existence and an intelligent designer of all this…

  • dito!

  • John

    Yes, I’ve given up.
    I’ve been in church and a Christian for years (in church since I was born, a Christian since 2nd grade).
    I graduated from a Christian school, went to Bible College, was a pastors kid, in the worship band, Sunday school teacher, youth pastor, mens ministry leader.
    Now I’m just done.
    I feel nothing, hear nothing, no desire, no passion, just silence, just nothing.
    My family and I have moved from church to church the past few years. All looking for something that we are missing.
    My wife has plugged in at the church we landed on earlier this year but I see nothing there.
    The bad thing is, I know all the answers.
    I’m a vessel on a shelf.
    God can choose to use me or choose not to use me.
    It’s a time of pruning.
    It’s a desert time.
    Etc, etc,etc……
    I have no one to talk to.
    I have no one in my life other than my wife and I’ll only burden her so much.
    But for right now, I’m just done.

  • BR

    At times, yes. My dad passed a year ago. Suffered from cancer for years. But eventually declined rapidly. Became a walking skeleton. Surgery, chemo, meds, surgery, radiation, falls, blood transfusions, hospitals, kidney stints, etc. He was on hospice 2 weeks and died. I watched him literally die before my eyes. I felt abandoned by God. My dad was only 65. My husbands grandfather died unexpectedly the week of 4th of July the same year. I felt it was fair. I guess I still feel that way. I felt abandoned by my church. Idk. I love God. I love Jesus so much.

  • Disillusioned

    I’m on the verge of giving up. I’m 27, the daughter of a worship leader and church elder. I’ve been “doing church” for as long as I remember. Christened, baptised in water and then in the spirit. I don’t remember a time when church and God wasn’t a part of my life. Yeh, I struggled a bit when I was at university – when the lures of the world were bright and new, but I always trusted in God and knew where my identity lay – in Him.
    However of late, something has changed… I just don’t get it any more. I don’t “get” church. I don’t “get” Christianity. I don’t even “get” God. I don’t feel anything any more. I don’t hear His voice. I’ve stopped reading my Bible because it’s become such a struggle. I don’t pray because all I hear is silence afterwards. It seems like there is no return.
    “Life” on the other hand is going well… Very well. I’m a trainee surgeon on a much sought after training programme in England. Respected and liked by the people I work with and for. I work hard, and I work long hours – but I love my job. Outside of work, I have good friends and a supportive family, people I know will be there for me whatever happens. I even love my church, the people are like family. I know I am blessed. All of which makes it worse – it feels like I am letting everyone down. I don’t know where to turn. I am on a 1 way ticket down a dead end track, and haven’t figured how to get off this train. I’m weary and frustrated. I am done.

  • Dave

    I just Google “giving up on GOD” for mere interest, to see if there’s anyone else out there in my position – the boat I’m in.

    I always believed there was a GOD. From a young age, for as long as I can remember. I’m 37 now, and HE has yet to show up and fulfill a promise.

    I know the bible like the back of my hand. Preached, prayed, fasted, loved, worshipped, adored HIM from afar. I lived my life for HIM.

    My life is a struggle. A never ending upheaval of tribulation and suffering. My dad tortured my mother, raped my sister, out me in hospital so many times as a kid, I knew the Nurses by name. When she left him and she left me behind to face this tormentor. Eventually, I found her. She was with a new man… who carried on where my biological dad left off.

    I have kids now. I promised never to do to them what they did to me and my family.

    Instead, I received a violent unfaithful woman. We split up a year ago. I now have my kids (and step child from her ex), I have a dying mom living with me, I just lost my job, I’m going to get kicked from my residence soon, I have no food to feed my kids, and no one to turn to.

    For months I believed. I hoped. I prayed, begged, pleaded. not a single response… logic dictates, either HE isn’t listening – or He doesn’t care.

    Revelation 3:16 says that if we are lukewarm, HE will spit us out.

    I think i’ll do the same.

    Goodbye GOD