Letting Go.

[Photo by Richard Gatson]

It’s exciting being “young” (I put that in quotations cause i’m 28) and adventuring through life… with so much ahead and so many things to look forward to, it’s a good kind of tension.

But I’d rather not have this feeling when I’m 45, thats when it might become a depressing kind of tension.

For me, things have been crazy. More humbling then anything else. I think God has been using it to allow me to find more of Him. Which is cool, clearing all the clutter out of my life, to make more room for him… As you know I’ve left the “church”, took on a job at apple, moved into my parents home, and am now moving down to Princeton for grad school.

As weird as it sounds, I don’t have any goals really, lol.

But seriously I did want to travel the world and speak, and write a NY Times Nonfiction best seller, get married and all that stuff, but now I’m just letting go of all that (somedays not as much as others) and just letting God do his thing.

I think for the first time in my life I’ve come to a point where I’m just following Jesus, even if I really have no idea where he’s leading me. And don’t get me wrong, it’s been tough attempting to follow jesus. But I’ve come to think that the cost is greater in NOT following Him, then in following and abiding in Him.

Maybe it’s wrong but I’m chasing after peace (sounds so hippie ha). But I think that in following Jesus whole heartedly, giving him my entire life, I’ve found that peace… not worrying about finding my wife, not worrying about my 401k, and not worrying about getting into my career job… I’ve learned that trusting God, truly Trusting God with your life, is the better life…

I’m thankful for this year I’ve had alone. Well kinda alone. (as depressing as that sounds)

As much as I complain, I’ve been blessed. Getting my job at Apple. Living in my parents upstairs “apartment”. Blogging here. All of these things have allowed me to have a time and space for restoration, healing, and reconnecting with God…

I’ve had ups and downs and It’s so easy for me to feel like I’ve had more downs then ups. But in a time of life when I feel as if I was headed on a path towards, “Just getting by” and as if God has completely forgotten about me I’m reminded of His love that even though I have left the church…

…he has not left me.

The truth is, I’m still searching, I haven’t found it.

Whatever it is…

Donald Miller says that we’re all in search of redemption. I think that’s true. More specifically for me I think I’ve been in search of restoration, in hope to find my redemption, letting go of my hopes and dreams, and letting God hand over to me a life thats beyond anything I could ever have imagined.

My story, I have a feeling it’s just beginning…