Quarter-Life Crisis. What?

Quar-ter·life cri·sis- (Noun): An emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in ones mid twenties to early thirties.

It’s said, that at about 45-55 years of age, men and women begin to go through what’s called a “mid life crisis” where they buy red convertibles, divorce their husbands/wives, date women/guys half their age, and consume large amounts of alcohol.

Now a new crisis has arisen, the “quarter life crisis”. With extended adolescence at hand there have been more 20 something’s then ever taking a step back and looking at their lives and realizing they’re not where they expected they’d be by 25 or 30. Their in their late twenties and still yet to be married, living in their parents basements, or maybe they are married but massively in debt, imprisoned in their cubicle on a day to day basis barely being able to make ends meet wondering where life could’ve gone wrong for them. Either way, they find themselves in a situation where their not satisfied with where their at, or where their life is heading. Having an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence.

Do they switch directions? Go back to school? Max their credit cards out at the Apple Store? Buy a fixie? (Would have bought a Ferrari, but let’s be honest their still living in their parents basement) Or maybe they do what the normal twenty something hipster does, they pack up and road trip across country to Portalandia, where of course all twenty something’s go to retire.

But aside from the jokes, the reality of this is shocking. There are more 20 something’s then ever still living in their parent’s homes. Living off of their dad’s income, potentially suffering from what many may call “extended adolescence”.

Though the question arises, what do we do as twenty something’s in the middle of a quarter-life crisis? How do we cope, deal, and move forward in a healthy, productive manner? Here are a few ways that I’ve dealt and chosen to move forward:

1.     Keep moving: “Getting Hurt is inevitable but living like a victim is a choice.” I know, I’ve used this quote before, but its still true. There’s a time to sulk and recover, but then there comes a time to get up, get out, and simply move on. It’s so easy to get stuck. It’s even easier to sulk and feel sorry for oneself. Laziness is one of our biggest enemies. So maybe you’re not where you thought you’d be by the age of 25. Stuck in a cubicle, working at Starbucks, or still single.  But the fact is we have the power to do something about this. You’re not 80, you’re 25. There’s still hope.

2.     Look beyond yourself: I think in this time, it’s so easy to get caught up and too focused on ourselves and our own problems. I’ve found that emotionally needy people, have a harder time looking beyond themselves and onto others. It’s completely understandable for anyone to be in a season where this is the case. So it’s so important, to be reminded it’s not about us. So as others are helping and reaching out towards us, we need to continue to do the same for them and others…

3.     Surround yourself with good ENCOURAGING people: As much as I can joke, and honestly sound insensitive to this issue, it is serious. And for many of us who are in this season of life, its not funny at all. Though it’s healthy to be able to step back and laugh at it with friends, I think its even healthier to surround yourself with people who can empathize with you, pour into you, listen, and most importantly ENCOURAGE you! There’s so many negative people who are down in the pits and want to bring people down with them, if your friends are them, their not friends. So surround yourself with people who will support you and push you towards a productive healthy life, in a productive and healthy way.

Though through out all of this, Listen to the Chaos, simply put, don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. In the midst of all of the chaos and confusion there maybe some truth hidden in the restlessness and frustration. Maybe it is time to change a career, go back to school, or start over, this is another reason to have encouraging people in your life to help speak into your situation. Remember this is just a season of life, and how we react to this season, is up to us.