Why I don’t network…

Being back from the National Youth Workers Convention, quite a few people have asked if I used the conference as a means of “networking”. I politely respond, “not so much.” I’m not against networking, I’m just not good at networking. Probably for a few main reasons:

1. I hate small talk– If you’ve hung out with me for more then an hour, you’d come to quickly realizeI don’t beat around the bush. I don’t know exactly why or what it is makes me this way, but I just don’t like small talk.

2. It’s shallow– I want to actually get to know you. Small talk, chit chat, or polite conversation about unimportant matters seem like a waste of time. That is, if I’m not going to ever speak with you again, and what we’re speaking about right now is not only irrelevant, but doesn’t and will never matter, then lets just not talk to each other. (I know sounds really mean, but common a little true?)

3. It seems fake and manipulative– On the “Strengths Finders” test my greatest strength was “woo”. Which stands for Winning Others Over. I understand the irony of this. I hated the fact that this was my strength. In the world of Christianity it seems like a weakness. Why? Well, when I think of “Woo-ing” I think of a used car sales men, or that televangelist that speaks with an alluring southern accent. I think of “fake” and “manipulative” people. With this, yes, one can network. I choose to fight against this “gift”.

The glimpses we have of Jesus in scripture, are not of him having “small talk” with people. I’m even lead to question whether or not modern day “networking” is Christ like. When someone tells me they love networking, I hear, “I love being able to get know as many people as possible just enough, so that when I need something from them I can use them.” Keeping people in ones back pocket just doesn’t seem or sit right with me…

This might seem mean at first, but when taking a step back I think it’s legitimate, I’m not saying I don’t want to talk with you, I’m simply saying that if you have no intention of truly getting to know me, or if your intention is to just put me in your back pocket to later “use me” then I’d rather not.

Thoughts?