6 Things I want my Future Daughter-in-Law to Know: An Open Letter

6 Things I want my Future Daughter-in-Law to Know: An Open Letter April 23, 2015

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4.  We will all make mistakes.

When two families are joined together, it can be complicated and messy at times.  All of us will make mistakes.  Sometimes, we may inadvertently say hurtful things, not do something the way it was intended, and so on.  In those moments, I promise to seek your forgiveness and to be truthful with you if my feelings have been hurt.  I ask you to do the same in order for our families to have peace.  I want you both to feel like you can communicate freely with us.  Please don’t “walk on eggshells”.


James 3:2 (NLT)

2 Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.


5.  Yes, I am his mother, but I want to be your FRIEND.

I know you have your own mother, and I, in no way, want to try and fill that special place in your life.  I want to be your friend…your much older friend.  I want to take you out to breakfast and go shopping.  I want to watch the grandkids and let you have a break.  I want to be on the other end of the phone when you need someone older, and hopefully wiser at that point, to talk to.  Let’s please be friends.  I so look forward to that.


Proverbs 27:9 (NLT)

9 The heartfelt counsel of a friend
is as sweet as perfume and incense.


6.  I am your prayer warrior.

I will continue to pray that God prepares your heart as you grow up, Dear Daughter.  I pray that you grow in wisdom and knowledge of the Lord.  I pray He bestows many blessings in your life.  I pray He protects your heart and mind from sexual sin.  I also pray that if you make mistakes, and many of us do, Sweet Daughter, that you will seek His forgiveness and know that you are indeed forgiven.  When your heart is broken, I pray you surrender it to God.  Only He can make you whole.  No man, including my son, can fill this hole in your life.  You are a child of God.  You are precious.  I pray you don’t lose sight of this.


Hold on to the hope of knowing that God has an amazing plan for your life.  Please know that I am praying the very same prayers for my son, and I greatly look forward to the day when he brings you home to meet us for the very first time.  I. Can’t. Wait.


But, until then, please know that you are already loved by our family, Dear Daughter.


With love and anticipation on the blessings to come,

Your mother-in-love, Ashley

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • z–man

    My father-in-law is not my “friend”. He’s my father-in-law. And I’m fine with that.

  • ashleywillis4

    To each their own 🙂 Thanks for reading and responding.

  • CnS

    This is beautifully written!
    It is unfortunate that not all of us end up with the relationship (with our mother-in-law) that we had hoped and prayed for.
    Your daughter in law will certinaly welcome phone calls rather than ‘just showing up’, privacy and respect for their marriage (and how they choose to raise their children); As well as having someone who wants to shop or have brunch and phone conversations with her.

  • ihatedana

    If only. I’d move across country to escape my monster in law. 🙂

  • Dave Again

    Supporting the autonomy of the couple. Excellent. If both husband and wife are atheists, they will have your support. Again excellent.

  • Nancy-Justin Westall

    This a great article. Thank you. Gives me a lot to consider as my boys are testing the waters of commitment. I don’t have daughters so I’m looking forward to the opportunity to experience this. Any advice is only a bonus.