3 Common EXCUSES that Keep us Stuck with an Unhappy Marriage

3.  All we do is fight.

My husband, Dave, and I hear this a lot when we meet with couples who are going through a hard time in their marriage.

I get it.  Emotions can get so high that every single conversation ends in a fight.  We feel like our spouse isn’t listening.  We don’t feel respected.  We feel attacked.  And, everything in us tells us to walk away because we are tired of fighting.

In “4 BIG DOs and DON’Ts When Arguing with Your Spouse”,  I discuss how yelling matches can deeply wound our spouse and marriage.  It’s hard to listen to someone when we feel like we’re being attacked.  And, we often say things that are extremely hurtful.  Once we say it, we can never take it back.  This can also be extremely damaging to our children as they witness our frequents outbursts.

If this is you, please seek a Christian marriage counselor immediately.  If that isn’t possible, please find someone who loves you, your spouse, and God, and ask them to mediate some conversations between you and your spouse.  I also highly recommend going to a marriage crisis retreat.  There are many you can choose from, but one we often recommend is put on by an organization called Family Dynamics.

Maybe you aren’t yelling at each other, but it still feels like you are always at odds whenever you talk.  If this is the case, I encourage you to listen to what your partner has to say without interjecting any comments.  Then, say, “I hear you saying…”, and tell them what you think they are trying to say.  Then, your partner will tell you if you are correct.  After that, it’s your turn to say what’s on your mind.  This may seem really cheesy, but it works.  It slows the conversation down a bit and keeps us from being defensive.  This process forces us to really listen to each other.  We may even learn something new and get to the root of the strain in our relationship.

More than anything, we must find a healthy way to communicate on a regular basis.   Fighting will only build walls in our relationship.  But, talking kindly to one another will keep us connected and on the same page.

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Are you struggling in your marriage and don’t know what next step to take?  If so, please sign up for more information about our latest and most effective resource called, “Fighting for My Marriage.”  Please  email us at [email protected] for three FREE video and much more.  Or, you can click on Fighting for My Marriage, for more information.You are not alone in  your struggle.

Be blessed!