There are lots of us mommies out there, and yet we can feel so alone in our mothering. Why is that?
I think most of us are afraid. We’re scared that we are the only one whose kid isn’t hitting the milestone. We hide our face and cringe as our children seem to be the only kids who don’t sit quietly in the shopping cart while we shop for groceries. We cry alone in our pantries and tell ourselves that we aren’t cut out to be good moms, and then we dry our eyes and put on a smile for the friends coming over for dinner. When asked if we are okay, we’ll say “Yes”, but inside our hearts, we know that’s not the truth and wonder if we’re the only mom who is struggling.
The truth is none of us is the “only mom”, but we’re too afraid and embarrassed to admit it. So, we continue to play the game. We continue to put on the smile and act like we’ve got it all together when we’re falling apart inside and questioning every decision we make as a mom. We refuse to tell our friends the honest truth that being a mom is so much harder than we ever thought it would be, and some days, we feel like we’re losing our marbles and question our ability to effectively parent our rambunctious kiddos. Read “Confessions of a Crazy Mom” for more on this.
Something is missing in motherhood as a whole. There needs to be a sisterhood among mothers, and there are two things that can bridge this gap:
HONESTY and AUTHENTICITY.
We need more of this in our lives, Sweet Mamas. We might read and even share some blogs on Facebook and Pinterest about the crazy days of motherhood. But, when it comes to our own lives, we often refuse to open up about our struggle to other moms, because we don’t want to be judged. And, this holds us back from truly embracing and even celebrating the amazing journey of motherhood…with all its highs and lows.
What if we stopped acting like our kids are perfect, and instead, we owned up to the fact that our little angels are quite frankly hard to deal with at times? Instead of killing ourselves and our relationship with our kids over trying to appear like the “perfect family,” lets embrace our strengths and own up to our weaknesses. This doesn’t mean we’re going to settle for mediocrity or fail to set high expectations; it just means that we’re going to stop beating ourselves up because we feel like failures all the time. Read “To the mom or dad who feels like a failure today,” for more on this. It means we are going to stop comparing ourselves and our kiddos to a non-existent ideal.Let’s not be Stepford wives and moms…seemingly strong, beautiful, and perfect, but truly fragile and even empty inside.
Instead, let’s embrace our authentic and honest motherhood experience.
It’s messy, crazy, exciting, wonderful, laughable, frustrating, tiring, and so much more all rolled into one. It’s sticky hands, clogged toilets, dances in the rain, goose eggs on the forehead, and lots of tickles. It’s bringing home a bad report card but making the winning touchdown on the same day. It’s teenage angst mixed with heartfelt conversations over dinner. It’s eating breakfast together and laughing until milk pours out your nostrils. It’s your toddler spilling his drink for the 4,557th time. It’s terrifyingly magical and magnificent. It’s exhausting in the best way. It’s…an ongoing, work in progress kind of calling like nothing else on Earth.
That’s real motherhood.
Sweet Mama, you are not the only one. Every mom experiences struggles and triumphs. It’s part of the beautiful calling of motherhood. Stop listening to the lie that you are not enough. When God brought your precious kiddos into your life, He equipped you in every way. This doesn’t mean you aren’t going to make mistakes or that your children will never disrespect you. But, it does mean that with God’s help, you will fulfill your calling as a mama.
Let’s stop being afraid that we’re the “only mom who…”. We don’t play that game anymore, Sweet Mama. It’s one we will lose every time. The next time we start to doubt ourselves or wonder if we’re all alone in our struggle as a mother, let’s pick up the phone, call a fellow mom friend, and have an open and honest conversation. Authenticity and honesty among friends gives us perspective and the hope to carry on.
For more on how love is supposed to look in all of our relationships, be sure to get your copy of my husband’s amazing NEW book, “The Seven Laws of Love,” by clicking here. Be blessed!