When You Feel Like You Can’t Be a GOOD WIFE and a GOOD MOM at the SAME TIME

A friend of mine recently shared with me that, for years, her marriage had been rocky.  They had multiple children in a short amount of time, and they both decided to “focus on the kids,” during this child-rearing season.  At first, they didn’t seem to notice a change in their marriage because life was so busy changing diapers, running kids to and from school, and staying on top of things.

She decided to be a stay-at-home mom, and her husband threw himself into his work to provide for the family.  She loved being at home, and he loved his work.  But, as the years carried on, they both began to fight about everything.

In her husband’s eyes, she didn’t keep the house quite as clean as he would like.  From her perspective, he worked too many hours and didn’t make enough money for the family.  They were constantly blaming each other for the lack of peace in their home.  They even considered separating.  They felt like God wasn’t answering their prayers, and they just couldn’t get along anymore.  But, then, something changed.  

They started reading Christian books and articles on marriage that they would see through their Facebook feeds.  Whenever they attended church, the pastor would say something about marriage that resonated with them.  So, they decided to sit down and have a heart-to-heart conversation one day after church–something they hadn’t done in years.

They each confessed to how they personally got to this negative place–no blaming, just confession.  They listened to each other without interrupting or trying to correct a statement.  Then they talked about how they wanted things to change in their family dynamic and the steps that were necessary to get there.

They enrolled in a marriage class at their church.  Even though things were tight financially, they budgeted for a bi-monthly date night.  They even sat their kids down and explained that Mommy and Daddy had not been spending enough time together, and they are going to be spending much more time alone together to improve their relationship.  And, day-by-day, little-by-little, things began to change.  With tears in her eyes, my friend told me that she is more in love with her husband today than she has ever been.  

They made God the foundation of their relationship and started putting their marriage before the kids.  This is how God designed the family.  A strong marriage is built on a firm foundation of faith in God and constructed brick by brick through our commitment to one another.  When we approach our marriage and family this way, our kids are safe and secure–realizing that their parents are working hard to stay strong together.

So, can we be a “good wife” AND a “good mom” at the same time?  Absolutely.  This will happen naturally when we put God first, continue to prioritize and invest in our marriage, and then, work TOGETHER to “train our children up in the way they should go” through the highs and lows of life.

Thank you for reading, responding, and sharing.  I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

If you and your spouse are currently struggling in your marriage, we are here to help.  Go to “Fighting for My Marriage,” for more information.Be blessed!