Why CHRISTIANS are GETTING SEX WRONG (and how to make it right)

So, what does the Bible really have to say about sex?

1.  It is a BINDING covenant that is physical, emotional, and spiritual. (Genesis 2:24)
2. Sex is designed for a HUSBAND AND WIFE within their own marriage. (Genesis 1:27 and Hebrews 13:4)
3. It is GOOD.  (Genesis 1:31)
4. Sex is meant for PROCREATION AND PLEASURE. (Genesis 1:28, Proverbs 5:18-19, 1 Corinthians 7:3, and Song of Solomon 7:1-3 and 6)

These are all POSITIVE things about sex within the union of marriage.  They aren’t something to be scared of at all.  Each of these point back to the fact that sex is truly a gift from God–not a curse.  As parents and church leaders, we need to be taking more of this positive angle when teaching our youth about sex.

http://sixseeds.patheos.com/ashleywillis/wives-sex-is-more-important-than-you-think-and-heres-why/

This doesn’t mean that we don’t explain the natural consequences that come from having sex outside of God’s boundaries.  Kids need to realize that being careless with sex opens ourselves up to the shame that comes with sin.  We give a part of ourselves away to someone we haven’t committed to in the eyes of God.  We use people for pleasure.  We place our feelings and desires before our fundamentals and dedications.  When we choose to have sex outside of God’s boundaries, we are settling for less than His best for us.

Our kids need to know these consequences, but these SHOULD NOT be the first thing our kids understand about sex.  How can our children understand the negative consequences of careless sex unless we teach them God’s broader, beautiful, and GOOD plan for sex FIRST?

This is where I found myself so lost as a young girl.  With good intentions and in an effort to keep me chaste, my parents and youth leaders primarily taught me about the life-altering consequences of careless sex instead of how sex masterfully fits into God’s plan for marriage and family and that it is a GOOD thing.

So, I pushed my feelings down deep and prayed for God to help me to save myself for marriage.  And, I did–with God’s help.  I couldn’t wait for my wedding night, but I was honestly scared to death.  The only thing I knew about the actual act of sex was what I learned in health class and what I saw on television–so, not much.

My husband and I had a wonderful wedding night, but took me a long time to overcome the belief that sex is a shameful, hurtful, and dreadful act.  I had a hard time “flipping the switch” from a young, willfully chaste woman to a married woman who could fully embrace the beautiful gift of sex with my husband.   I’d been bound and determined to not do “it” at all costs for all of my youth, and then–boom— I could be uninhibited.  It was difficult for me to reconcile this in my mind and heart, and it took some time for me to shake this negative programming.  And, I’ve found this to be a similar hurdle for many other Christian youth who were taught to fear sex.

Friends, we must STOP doing this to our youth, because it sets them up for confusion and disappointment once they are married.  As Christians, we should have the BEST, most-fulfilling sex lives around because we are sons and daughters of the One who designed it and His Word defines it.  Let’s bring God’s truth about sex to light and stop letting the world set the standards of sex for our children.  We can do this, but we MUST be willing to start and continue the conversation.

For more resources about when and how to talk to your kids about sex, please check out Family Life’s “Passport2Purity.”  These have been a great help to my family.

Also, I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.  Thanks for reading, sharing, and responding.  Be blessed!