3 Questions to Consider When You’re Spouse has been UNFAITHFUL

2.  Are you BOTH fully COMMITTED to saving this marriage even when it feels ugly and uncomfortable?

In order for any marriage to last, even when no affair has taken place, BOTH the husband and the wife must be FULLY and COMPLETELY committed to one another.  True love will not last without commitment.  When an affair occurs, the commitment has been broken, and that is precisely why some decide to divorce.  The only way a marriage can survive and even thrive after an affair is by both the husband and the wife recommitting to one another.  Both spouses must be willing to go through all the emotions that follow the news of an affair, and your emotions will be all over the place.  The “innocent” spouse is absolutely allowed to be angry, but we must try to not sin in our anger by punishing the “guilty” spouse with hateful words and actions.  The “guilty” spouse must understand and deal with the reality of his/her sin, and he/she must give the “innocent” spouse time to cope and approach him/her with tenderness and humility.

Both spouses must also be willing to do things differently, and this can be very frustrating and awkward at times.  A marriage counselor or pastor is extremely helpful in navigating through all of these steps and helping the couple move forward.  We cannot forget the past, but we can move forward with recommitment and God’s help through prayer and counsel.