Reason #2: If You Figure It Out and Do Something About It, It Shows That You Care
You think it’s the action that matters—which is why you wish she would just tell you what action she wants. You’re wondering: Do you want me to take the kids to the park so you can rest? Do you want me to take you out to a quiet dinner for your birthday or have a get-together with friends? While you’re upset with me right now, do you want me to apologize or leave you alone? In the midst of those conundrums you’re probably thinking, “Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it!” But remember that the “doing” isn’t always the most crucial thing. What matters to your wife is the fact that you make the effort to figure out what matters to her. It shows she is worth the effort (see Reason #1) and—even more important—it shows that you care enough about her to make that effort for her.