3 Reasons Why Your Wife Won’t Just Tell You What She Wants

Reason #3: If She Has To Tell You, She’ll Never Know Whether You Did It Because You Wanted To Or Only Because She Told You To 

Guys, we women don’t always realize that you want to do those things that will make us happy. In other words, because of that secret “am I lovable?” insecurity, we subconsciously might not believe that you want to do things for us because you care about us. So when we tell you what we want you to do, and you do it, we honestly, truly don’t know whether you are doing it because you really wanted to—or just because you’re putting up with us and doing it because we asked you to.

So men, here’s the key that will unlock the door to your wife’s confidence and security: pursue the lifelong practice of studying your beloved, then put what you learn to work. Don’t roll your eyes whenever you come up against a situation that feels like a test. (As you might imagine, that just makes her self-doubt even worse!) Instead of expressing frustration, be patient. Approach each situation as an opportunity to show her that she is someone who is lovable—and loved. And as you build up that certainty in her, over time, you’ll encounter those tests less and less often.

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Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).

Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge demonstrates that kindness is the answer to pretty much every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.