3 Ways Porn Hurts the Heart of Your Wife

3 Ways Porn Hurts the Heart of Your Wife February 5, 2018

In more than a dozen years of research about how guys privately think about things like sex and porn use, I’ve seen a striking pattern.

While nearly all men are visually tempted today, and many hate and struggle against the temptation, most of those same men also think their porn use has nothing to do with their wives. They may feel awful about it, but they really don’t understand why their wives would. As one man summarized, “Sometimes I deal with it great. Other times, not so much. But my wife knows I love her, right? She knows that if I look at porn it says nothing about my love for her.”

Guys, I’m here to tell you why you’re wrong. And please know I’m not trying to heap guilt or shame onto the heavy load you’re already carrying. Honestly, given my research with thousands of men for For Women Only and, more recently, Through a Man’s Eyes, I actually have immense compassion for your struggles in today’s culture. But I’m here as a woman – and as a researcher – to help you understand the truth of what your wife has probably been telling you: your porn use really does make her feel terrible.

Here are 3 important ways porn hurts the heart of your wife:

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  • Erin

    Porn is not an affair it’s nothing like that and if you feel like that then talk to your spouse and they will probably say it’s just a bit different and less effort than sex. Maybe number three has some truth but it’s not just about women. Men watch these videos of men who are well endowed and can last forty five years in bed, and maybe they feel inadequate too? Maybe porn hurts everyone by teaching them the sleeping with your stepsister is okay. Maybe porn hurts everyone by saying it’s okay for professional and personal relationships to happen on your bosses bloody desk. Stop focusing on this crap and focus on what actually needs to change within the industry. Porn isn’t bad an be incredibly good but it just needs to change the things that can hurt some people.