Are You Measuring His Love By The Size Of Your Diamond?

Are You Measuring His Love By The Size Of Your Diamond? April 9, 2018

The day her boyfriend proposed was one of the happiest days of Sarah’s life. Jason went all out: the perfect location, meaningful words, and down on one knee with a lovely ring. At the time, she wouldn’t have changed a thing. But now, a few months before the wedding, Sarah’s ring has become a source of stress. She realized that she’d rather have something bigger, with a bit more style. She talked with Jason about it, and he said they don’t have that kind of money—but Sarah noticed that he doesn’t seem to have a problem buying fancy accessories for his car. She’s willing to forego eating out or whatever they need to do to upgrade her ring, but Jason’s just not budging. 

Beyond the issue of the ring itself is a deeper concern below the surface. Sarah is worried that Jason’s lack of “splurging” on her ring means that he doesn’t prioritize what matters to her—which means he doesn’t prioritize her.

Is she right? Does her fiancé’s engagement ring selection truly and accurately reflect the depth of his love for her? Perhaps you’ve found yourself in a similar situation. Does the level of bling—and the amount of money invested—really matter? Or are you reading more into it than you should?

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  • Devorah Tucker

    My husband died suddenly about five years ago, leaving me a widow in my mid 30’s with two young children. When we got married, I had been very concerned that I had a nice ring. It was, at the time, very important to me, and something I took pride in and insisted in before I would agree to marry him. When he died I had to sell that ring so that I could put food on the table. Yes, he loved me when he bought that ring for me, but I learned what is truly important, and it isn’t jewelry. Last week I remarried to a man who lost his wife to cancer. We didn’t even buy rings. We know that life is short, way too short to worry about bling or insecurities. We assume the best of the intentions of the other. Yes, occasionally our feelings can get hurt, but it is so true that if we do not immediately assume the worst of our partner, and we place value in family and faith rather than possessions, that is where the true happiness and wealth come from. It is too bad it took such profound loss for me to realize this. But at least I get a second chance at it.