When You Think Your Husband Is Overreacting . . . Again

Why It Hurts

So when your man is trying to put together the complicated new TV system and it isn’t going well, he’s already feeling like a failure at what he’s trying to do—as if he doesn’t measure up to others. It’s painful for him. And when you come along and point out what he didn’t do correctly in connecting that cable (just trying to help, of course!) you have, without realizing it, just overtly pointed out: yes, you are indeed a failure. Gary would have done better. Or when you give step-by-step instructions on exactly how to tuck your kids in at bedtime, you are, without realizing it, telling your husband he’s not a competent parent. Bill probably knows the routine better than him.

We women don’t think of it that way, of course. We think our man is being super-over-sensitive. In other words: We think he shouldn’t be hurt by that. Because it wouldn’t hurt us. But we’re wrong!