Assume The Best . . . And Break The Cycle
If you’re like Andrea and assume that your man’s motives are to hurt you, my concern is that you may never get to that place. If you’re apt to assume that your husband will always take advantage of you, that’s all you’ll see. You won’t see the man who loves you, even though, statistically, he almost certainly does. As I told Andrea: yes, you can and should question how your husband handles things sometimes. At some other non-emotional time, you can discuss the behavior that hurt your feelings. But don’t assume the worst of why your husband sometimes does it wrong. In other words, be sure to say, “But I know you love me and I don’t think you realize how much this hurts in the moment.” As you deal with hurt feelings, consider breaking the cycle. Don’t continue to fit the definition of insanity. Choose to look for the best . . . and you’ll very likely see that he becomes willing to break the cycle with you.
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Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).
Her latest book, Find Rest: A Women’s Devotional for Lasting Peace in Busy Life, focuses on a journey to rest even with life’s constant demands.
Visit www.shaunti.com for more.
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