Secret #2: When you have a chance to confess, you double down on your denials—ignoring that your partner will get doubly hurt
When Theranos’ partners began to have questions, including about the accuracy of the few blood tests that were actually done on their devices, Holmes and her romantic and business partner, Sunny Balwani, repeatedly insisted that all was fine. And multiple patients ended up in the hospital as a result.
It is mortifying to tell those closest to you that you’ve been less than candid. But having them find out the truth the hard way is far, far worse.
After I spoke at a recent woman’s conference, one attendee told me she was deeply shaken when she recently discovered her husband had been talking to an old girlfriend online. Not because he was having an affair (he wasn’t) or because she felt like she was going to lose him (she knew he loved and was committed to her)—but because she had specifically asked and he had several times reassured her that he wasn’t in contact with any prior flames.
When she stumbled across their online communication, it called into question everything she felt she could trust about him. What else was he deceiving her about? Had he really gotten over his teenage pornography problem? Was that bottle of beer in the trash can a sign that he had a drinking issue? Did he have other relationships she didn’t know about? Her husband was ashamed and insisted that he didn’t tell her the truth only because it was no big deal and yet he knew she would think it was.
And yet, his repeated lies made it a big deal. A woman he loves very much is now in pain and suspicious every day. That’s no way to live.
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